


In The name of (Love) The Law

by checked_windows



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gay, How Do I Tag, Multi, Protective BAU Team (Criminal Minds), Slow Burn, The Author Regrets Everything, The BAU Team as Family (Criminal Minds), Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29898348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/checked_windows/pseuds/checked_windows
Summary: A new profiler is in town, he holds secrets but he also holds hope. Alexander Riley, is an all round hero if you were to ask anyone he was close to. Aaron Hotchner would also call him a hero and probably a few choice words too, if he keeps disobeying orders.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Original Character(s), Aaron Hotchner/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First ever fanfic  
> Obviously I don't own criminal minds, if I did it would be gayer. 
> 
> Also posted on wattpad under the same name :)

New jobs were always daunting, yet he was standing in an elevator going up trying to keep a neutral expression on his face. Of course new jobs were good things, this one was just a little far away from home. His unit chief was waiting for him when the doors slid open and he blinked in surprise.  
"You are early" SSA Aaron Hotchner stated looking at him, the man himself was tall, had short dark hair, dark eyes and was dressed in a suit. Alex's eyes moved of their own accord taking in as much information about the man as possible. He was attractive, unfairly so.   
"Thank you?" was the answer he gave back clenching his jaw, he wanted to pull at his own hair to bring his mind back to the room instead of it fluttering off on a train of wild thoughts.   
"All I got from HR was a name and a very basic file. So tell me who are you?" Agent Hotchner asked.  
"My names Alexander Riley but most people call me Alex or Alec, uh I'm the new profiler. Left school at 18 joined the police for four years then served in the army for five." he answered with a small smile "I'd shake your hand but my hands are full. Actually hold on" Alexander stuck his tongue out and juggled what he was carrying to his left side and stuck out his right hand for the agent to shake. Hotchner took his hand and shook it firmly.  
"Your desk is over here and I'll introduce you to the team. You'll be spending a lot of time with them" he said leading him over to a desk. Alexander dropped the box and his bag down onto the wood. He waved slightly.  
"This is Derek Morgan, Doctor Spencer Reid, Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss" he introduced "And this is Alexander Riley"  
"Hi. Uh feel free to call me Alex or Alec or really any form of my name" Alex said "The only person that calls me Alexander is my mother and that's only when she's mad"  
"You're Scottish!" A man, Alex realised was Derek Morgan, exclaimed.  
"Yes Agent Morgan, born there. Lived there until last week" he said back smiling.  
"Please call me Derek or Morgan either works" he said winking   
"All my friends call me JJ." agent Jareau said shaking his hand.   
"Please just call me Emily" agent Prentiss said with a wave of her hand.   
"Spencer or Reid is fine" the doctor said his nose in what looked to be an old book.   
"Don't get comfy, you never know when a case will come up. Everyone in this team shortened my surname to Hotch, so you might as well too" Agent Hotchner said patting him on the shoulder as he walked away. Alex dropped into the chair and breathed out hard.  
"I was in the army and he scares me more than anything I've seen" he grumbled out which earned him laughs.  
"He's not that bad. As long as yoy don't piss him off" Morgan stated. "So you're from Scotland, how did you end up here?"  
"Are you asking my history or the method of transport I used?" he asked tilting his head. This earned him another round of laughter.  
"Your history" Morgan clarified.  
"I was born in Scotland, met my girlfriend in a bar in Edinburgh where I was staying. I was a police officer for a four years but I never really got far up the chain, then I lost interest there and Joined the army which sapped another five years of my life, I then got discharged honourably I may add and now I'm here" he said ticking things off on his fingers.  
"Girlfriend? You still together?" JJ asked and he nodded "Least you'll have someone to help you keep a work life balance" he narrowed his eyes and tilted his head but before he could say anything the were being called for.  
"Wheels up in 30, debrief on the plane" Agent Hotchner called over the railing and they were all heading out. Alex looked around a little lost but Emily and JJ were motioning for him to come with them.   
"You guys have a plane?" he asked slightly mistified and the girls laughed.  
"Of course. How do you think we get around so fast?" JJ asked  
"Honestly. Agent Morgan looks like he drives really fast as does agent Hotchner. So I was thinking they just broke the speed limits" he answered shrugging. They laughed again. The plane itself was nice, or at least that's the only word that came to mind.  
"The unsub seems to be kidnapping young boys. So far only two but that number will rise" Reid started.  
"One boy, Carter Wright, was 9 the other, Sammy Drey, was 14 both were taken from their home and strangled to death" Morgan continued as Alex was studying the file. Both were taken from their homes without detection from anyone, family members or neighbours.   
"How're they getting out of the houses?" he asked and all conversations stopped, JJ was grinning at him and Agent Hotchner made a 'go ahead' motion with his hand, . "Well uh surely you'd notice if someone came into your house, stole your bairn and left. Which suggests that neither of the families were home or they were and just weren't paying attention to their kids."  
"Bring it home pretty boy" Morgan encouraged.  
"Maybe just maybe he sees himself as a saviour for the kids. Almost like by kidnapping and killing them, he feels like he's freeing them. We should look into anyone with any sort of abuse or neglect on their record" he said and took a deep breath. Morgan whooped and Hotch gave him a small smile, just a quirk of lips but he smiled in return. They worked the entire way, a profile building until Hotch's phone began ringing and of course he answered.  
"There's another kid missing. A girl this time" he said.  
"Why would he change his MO now?" Alex asked but no one knew the answer. He wasn't disorganised and it only suggested escalation.   
They were out of the plane and heading towards the station in a FBI vehicle that Alex honestly had no idea how they had gotten it. Hotch introduced them all to the local police and Alex looked round the small building his eye catching a woman hunched over crying, mourning, his brain supplied.  
"Ma'am. Hello I'm Agent Alexander Riley, I've just got a couple questions for you" he started but her head shot up. Her eyes were red rimmed and her tears had washed off most of her make up.   
"Questions? You should be out their looking for my baby boy!" she almost screamed at him. He took a step back ready to ask Hotch if another kid had been taken while they were driving to the station.  
"Ma'am, is your son trans?" he asked quietly ducking his head and she nodded "Right. OK. I can work with this. I'll get him back to you. I promise. I just have one question. Where were you when he was taken?" she looked up with hope in her eyes, but answered.   
"I had to run to the store. He was only alone for a few minutes. Normally he'd just sit and play a game while I was away. He knew to never answer the door." she answered. He nodded and patted her arm comfortingly and turned back to the team who had been intently watching him. He fought his hand back down when it's started to rise to rub at his skin.   
"The last kid that's been taken a trans-male, born female identifies as male. I'm willing to be that our unsub thinks this kids just as male as the others but he'll find out soon. It'll most likely throw him off buy us a little more time" he announced standing by JJ and Emily  
"So the cops have announced the missing kid as 'she' whereas it's 'he'. You're right Alex, it will most likely throw him off" Morgan stated, they seemed to be taking it in stride which gave Alex a sense of peace for a second.   
"Uh agents, locals have spotted a man carrying a kid into the woods" one of the officers says "His name is Joe Thomas, which makes sense if I'm being honest"  
"Why's that?" Hotch asked as they picked up bullet proof vests, all of the blue vests had 'FBI' in a bold white lettering across the chest and for the first time since he was young Alex felt a rush. He never understood it but kevlar vests had aways made him feel safe.   
"Guys dad killed his mom when he was a kid. I think he tried to kill him too, never succeeded obviously" the officer said as they were walked to the edge of the forest. Alex's eyes wracked over the ground and the trees planning a course of action and then remembered that he wasn't alone.  
"Hotch, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much fo you trust me?" he asked, he gave Alex a funny look before going back to his usual passive expression.   
"About a 4 or 5 " he answered and Alex nodded, he hadn't bee expecting even that much.  
"Let me lead" he said looking the older agent in the eyes and continued before he could argue "This is what I'm good at. Finding people it was one of my main jobs when I was in the army. Tracking and capture" he left out the bit about killing. No one needed to know that.   
"OK" Hotch said almost softly. He beamed at the older man then turned back to look at the floor. It hadn't rained in a couple days which ruled out fresh footprints, he crouched and dropped his head closer to the ground.  
"What are you doing?" Hotch asked.   
"Hush" it left his mouth before he could even think about it. "Got you! The dirt has been disturbed by two sets of feet one considerably smaller than the other." Alex took off in a jog following the trail that had been left behind there was a small pile of leaves that had been disturbed by the looks of it by someone small falling into it. He stopped and spun in a circle. Crying caught his ears and he followed it the team right behind him.  
"Joe Thomas!" he called across the gap, it must've only been a couple meteres across. "Let him go!"  
"I can't. I'm saving him!" Joe called back then looked at the child in his arms "Her! I'm saving her!"  
"I'm pretty sure he prefers to be called he" Alex called across. Then man screeched something back but Alex was focused on the boys face as he was being dragged away deeper into the woods. Pure fear.   
"We can go around" Hotch called and they started moving and Alex shook his head.   
"No. There's not time" he called back preparing himself for the run up. If he got enough of a run up he would make the jump.   
"Agent Riley this is a direct order. Stand down" Hotch called to him again. Alex frowned, was he really disobeying a direct order on his first day? Yes, yes he was.   
"No" he whispered and sprinted forward narrowly avoiding Morgan and Emily who looked like they made some effort of grabbing at him. He threw himself forwards over the gap almost landing on his knees on the other side. He ignored the shouts behind him and continued running. His legs and chest burned but a slight overturn of a bush gave Joe's position away, he dived through the shrubs and fell. His back hit off the ledge and he lay there catching his breath, glad that no one had seen that spectacular fail. He looked around and saw the kid dangling off the ledge below him, less than 10 foot below. He slid down the gentle part of the slope so he was not far about the kid then crouched down to grab him but hands were on his back shoving hard and the kid already had a hold of him. Fear coursed through his veins and he gripped at the wall for dear life catching a rock stopping their decent. He looked up and Joe was already away. He tried to adjust his grip but couldn't with one hand.   
"Hey kid" he tried pain shooting through him. "Do you think you can be a big strong boy and hold onto my neck?" the kid nodded against his side and scrambled up wrapping his arms around the agents neck and his legs around his waist.   
"Like this?" he asked. Alex brought his other hand up to hold on.   
"Perfect kid" he groaned "Hey what's your name?" he asked  
"Ash" the kid answered hiding his face in the man's shoulder.  
"Ash cool name. How old are you Ash?" he asked forcing his grip to tighten.  
"10" he answered "What's your name?"  
"Alex" he answered and his body was screaming for him to let go.   
"Alex!" someone shouted.  
"Kid!" that one was definitely Morgan.  
"Alex!" that was more than one voice, he couldn't even call back to let them know where he was but the kid on his back took care of that for him.  
"We're down here!" he screamed directly into Alex's ear. He winced and the kid shouted again. Alex glanced up and was met by the worried yet slightly angry face of one Aaron Hotchner and a worried Derek Morgan, he tried a smile but it felt like it came out more of a wince. The rock shifted under his hand as Hotch and Morgan pulled the kid up onto their ledge and passed him to the Emily and JJ who were above them.  
"Right your turn kid" Morgan said laying down flat on his stomach to grab him, Hotch crouched down and Alex pressed his forehead against the wall.   
"I'm gonna be honest with you right now I don't think it's gonna be that easy" Alex groaned out and the rock came loose completely and he was falling but only for a second, a hand was wrapped around each of his arms and he was pulled up to the ledge. JJ and Emily reached down to grab his hand and pull him up, once he was over the ledge he lay on his back breathing hard. The other two men climbed up and Hotch opened his mouth to speak but Alex's eyes were already closed. Even as one of them called his name and he could faintly feel hands on him. When he woke up he was on a leather sofa and Hotch was sitting at a desk that was not his own watching him. Alex couldn't quite place Hotch's current emotion but he knew he was in trouble.   
"How's the kid?" Alex huffed out pushing himself into a sitting position grunting in pain as he did so. His left hand immediately crossed his body to hold his side.   
"The kids fine. You however. What on earth were you thinking?" Hotch fumed, ah angry, that's how the older man felt.   
"You can yell at me in a minute" he waved a hand "I've got to see the kid first" Hotch just blinked in shock. Alex was on his feet and out the office before Hotch's brain had even caught up properly. Ash who had been sitting on a chair with his mother was now wrapped around the agents waist thanking him profusely. Alex bent down so he was balanced on one knee ignoring the pain up his back.  
"Listen kid, trust me when I say you're gonna do great things OK? Never let anyone tell you different because of who you are. But see next time someone walks in your house and you don't know them, start screaming" Alex said holding the child's hands in his own."You've got this. I wish someone had told me this when I was your age but I was alone, you on the other hand you've got your mother and I can see she loves you very much no matter what you do or who you are."  
"You're like me" he gasped out and Alex nodded with a small smile. "When did you know?"  
"I think I've always known" Alex responded and let the kids hands go leaving behind a single white card "Thats got my number on it. If you need anything or anyone to talk to who maybe gets it a bit more than your mom just call" the kid hugged him once more and Alex stood up facing down Hotch. The office door shut behind them, not that it made a difference.  
"What on earth were you thinking?" Hotch almost screamed at him, clearly leaving him to stew had been a bad idea "Do you have any idea how reckless that stunt you pulled was? What if you had misjudged and fallen to your death! You are a member of my team you have to gain my trust and you've done a good job of loosing it today. You're supposed to trust me too and you didn't not enough to tell me what you were planning" Hotch kept going and Alex just kept looking straight at him his eyes never wavering. Then the door was slammed open and the kids chest was heaving and his face bright red, his mother was trying to drag him away.  
"You have no idea how brave he was!" he was screaming so loud that Alex did wince and took a small step back towards Hotch "He saved my life and your yelling at him. Because he never told you! You just don't like him! You are no better than bullies!"  
He broke free of his mother's grasp and ran, Alex looked at Hotch with raised eyebrows before running after him. His chest hurt when he inhaled while running and wondered if he'd broken a rib when he fell. He had been so preoccupied with his possible broken bone that he almost ran past the kid who had sat down on a bench. He stopped and took a couple steps backwards.   
"Hey, what was that about?" he asked sitting next to him trying to ignore the pain he felt.  
"I shouldn't have yelled at him" Ash murmered "He made me feel bad, he was just like the bullies at school"   
"Ash, bud you weren't the one in trouble. I was" Alex sighed rubbing his face with his hand "He had every right to yell at me. I didn't listen to him or anyone else. I went off by myself and did something silly that could've gotten the both of us hurt. Bosses yell at you sometimes, you learn from it. It makes you a better person"  
"But he said he doesn't trust you" Ash said.  
"He doesn't mean it like that. He just means that I broke his trust which is something I'll have to earn back. People say things they don't mean when they are angry. I'm new to his team. He doesn't know me very well or what I can and can't do but he was still right" Alex said ruffling the boys hair "Now let's get you back before your mother has a heart attack" he walked the boy back into his mother's arms and went back to Hotch to let him finish his lecture. Hotch left the room and Alex went to follow.   
"Stay" Hotch directed pointing at him and Alex nodded. He leaned against the desk and pulled out his phone looking at flights home, then remembered he didn't have his passport with him so he started looking at trains. The earliest he would get home would be tomorrow afternoon and that's if the lines went to theory. He pocketed his phone and took a deep breath, day one had he had fucked up, big time. The team were beginning to leave and he rested heavier against the desk.   
"Kid, come on we're leaving" Morgan said poking his head into the room. Alex frowned and instead of being yelled at again he was bundled back into the SUV to go home, however Hotch had placed him between Morgan and JJ so whenever the car went over a vicious pothole he would be thrown into one of them and pain would shoot down his spine. He had expected to be told to make his own way home but Hotch never said a word, until half way through the flight when everyone had fallen asleep. The man slid into the seat opposite Alex, who had sat in the back corner away from the comfort of everyone else, and rested his hands on the table.  
"I'm sorry" Alex whispered and then cleared his throat, Hotch looked at him "I should have told you what I was doing. I should have communicated."  
"All I ask is that you try. I get that you're not used to working in a team but you're part of one now." Hotch said lowly and he nodded "Be honest with me. Tell me your plan before you jump headfirst into it. The kid told me what you said" Alex froze  
"Which part?" he asked keeping his breathing even.  
"The part about you agreeing with why I yelled at you" Hotch said and the man noticably relaxed.  
"It's true. Plus you didn't make me find my own way home, which is an added extra bonus." Alex said shrugging sending a wave of pain down his back and hissing.   
"It's four hours by plane. Why would I make you go home yourself?" the older agent asked, Alex just looked away focusing on the arm of the seat opposite him.   
"The point stands that you didn't. Thank you" he said and that was the end of the conversation partly because Hotch could see the man's eyes closing where he sat and partly due to Alex not wanting to share the information.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex didn't have the energy or willpower to do a report the same night they had gotten home. As well as being in pain, he just wanted to go home but not until everyone else was leaving.   
"I'll do it tomorrow" he huffed against his arm wondering if they kept a stash of painkillers anywhere. He would probably have to ask Hotch which would mean admitting he had hurt himself. Which was the last thing he wanted to do.   
"Will you actually?" Morgan asked giving him a knowing look.   
"Promise" he grumbled and those in the next around him sniggered, he slumped further down the chair. Looking for some form of comfort.   
"Riley, go home. You've had a long day" Hotch ordered. Alex turned his his head slightly aiming to get a softer part of his arm.   
"It's OK Hotch. I'll leave with everyone else" he murmured back sliding his eyes still closed.   
"It's an order" Hotch followed up. Shutting the folder that had been open on Alex's desk. The man reached out to take the folder back but it was moved further away from his grasp. "Go home"   
"Mkay" he answered pushing the chair back and slowly getting up wincing at the pain as it zig zagged across his back and shoulders. He hefted his bag over his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his body.   
"Will you be OK to drive?" Emily asked and he nodded making his way to the elevator pressing the down button once he was inside, his head was against the gold metal all the way down to the parking lot. His car was a beat up old Ford but it did its job, he climbed in resting his head on the steering wheel letting a whine of pain ripped from his mouth. He drove slowly trying not to move too much. He kept the radio off as he drove the streets, they were just as quiet as the inside of the car, desolate. He pulled the car into his parking spot thumbing the locking button as unlocked the door leading up to his apartment, the lights were off when he finally got in the front door. He couldn't get the key in the lock and let out a small growl of frustration until it finally slid in. He dropped his bag next to the small pile of shoes that they had collected and snuck into the kitchen. He raided the medicine cupboard for some sort of pain relief, he pulled boxes out only half reading the labels. He finally found a box that had a couple left in the box taken them without any sort of drink. He swallowed them down trying not to gag on the dry feeling. Alex tiptoed into the bedroom.   
"For someone who has multiple awards for sneaking around you're not very good at it" the voice from the bed spoke and he jumped yelping as he did so. Pain shot down his back and he touched his back gently.   
"Fuck. Sorry I didn't mean to wake you" he whispered even though it was only the two of them. There was no one else in the apartment that he could wake up.   
"Coming to bed?" she asked shifting under the blankets. He stripped out of his pants and shirt throwing them in a pile on the floor and crawled onto the bed. He dropped down next to her and smiled at her through the dark.  
"What are you grinning at Alexander Riley?" she asked.  
"Absolutely nothing. Kelly-Anne Collins" he answered and pulled her in closer, his fingers trailing over her skin. Her lips trailed up his neck. He moaned his fingers tangling in blonde hair. "Hold on. I don't think I can tonight"   
"What's wrong?" Kelly asked stroking his face, a finger over the ridge of his eye.   
"I fell earlier, pretty sure I've totally done my back in" he whispered. She pressed another kiss to his throat and his chin he tucked her into his chest and rested his head ontop of hers. He drifted off with his face in her hair and woke up to his alarm blaring almost directly in his face half falling off the bed. He hauled himself out looking back at the sprawled out sleeping kelly. He showered, shaved and dressed trying to ignore the pain that flared across his shoulder, he leaned over kissing her on the forehead before leaving to go to work. Alex hopped on a bus and got off a few stops before to get coffee or well coffees plural. He pulled out his phone and scrolled to H flicked through multiple names until he found the one he wanted and pressed dial.   
"Hotchner" the gruff voice came over the speaker.   
"Hey its Alex. Just wondering what everyone's coffee order is" he said holding the phone between his head and shoulder. Rifling through his pockets for his credit card.   
"Are you getting everyone coffee?" the man asked after a few beats of silence. It made him question himself for a minute but had already set himself to it.   
"Yep." he replied and a small laugh made it way through the speaker. Alex shivered, Hotch laughing was a new experience.   
"Hold on I can see you" Hotch said and hung up on him, Alex pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it. The man strolled in behind him touching his shoulder. Alex jumped ever so slightly.  
"What are you doing here?" Alex asked, pocketing his phone.   
"Well I was grabbing coffee for everyone, but a hand would be appreciated" the older man answered.  
"What can I get you today?" the man who looked oddly familiar asked holding a cup. Alex turned his his and looked pointedly at Hotch.   
"Morgan has just a simple black coffee with a little cream, Emily has a mocha, JJ, has a caramel latte, Reid has a coffee with four sugars and cream, Garcea has the same as Reid and I'll have a black coffee" Hotch said and Alex tried to commit it to memory "What about you?"   
"Black with two shots of caramel, please" Alex said, the batista wandered off to make their order and Alex was half way through his memorising when Hotch spoke again.   
"How's your back?" he asked and Alex's head shot round "You kept grumbling and wincing in pain yesterday after you got the kid, clearly having hurt your back"   
"It's fine. Super strong pain killers work amazing. Thank you" he answered "I'm just glad no one saw it" Hotch laughed next to him and Alex Smiled. The trays of drinks were brought to the counter and Hotch's hand went in his pocket but Alex had already beaten him, tapping in the code for his credit card.  
"I was going to pay" Hotch said almost defensively "It's my turn to get the office coffee"   
"Yeah no sorry too late" Alex laughed back with a half shrug "New guy buys the drinks and all that. I don't mind really"   
"I know you" the barista said pointing at him "You're the Scottish guy who lives in my building with your wife, Karen, Kylie something like that"   
"Kelly, and she is not my wife. She's my girlfriend but yes that would be me" Alex said pocketing his card "You would be the guy that live down the hall. With your mother right"   
"Ah cool man she usually comes in here too. I'll tell her you said hi" he said scowling at him and Alex gave him a thumbs up picking up the trays.   
"Let me help" Hotch said taking one from his hands. "I walked down here, normally i would have driven but I thought a walk would be nice plus its good for you"   
"You planned to walk back to the BAU with two trays of coffee?" Alex asked and shook his hear "Actually I'm gonna be honest that was my plan too. I got the bus here. Wasn't feeling up to driving"   
"So Kelly's not your wife." Hotch started and Alex shook his head raising an eyebrow at Hotch's not so subtle attempt to pry.   
"Not yet" he said " Maybe not ever who knows where the wind will take us. I will have to tell her not to go to that coffee shop cause we can't share everything. I use share as a lose term. I woke up this morning and she had the whole bed as well as I think about 80% of my clothes"   
Hotch laughed as they entered the building.   
"Yeah partners do that" he said as they stood in the lift, Hotch pressed the button sending them up.   
"What about you anyone special?" Alex asked. Prying was part of his job, plus if Hotch was allowed so was he.   
"No. It's tricky to have this job and an outside life but you seem to be managing OK" hotch said. Alex snorted.   
"I've only been here two days" he said "and disobeyed a direct order, injuring myself in the process"   
"A peice of advice. Don't let the job consume you" he said and the doors opened.   
"Is the new guy here yet? Is he cute?" a woman was asking Morgan, both of Alex's eyebrows shot up and he glanced at Hotch who was smirking slightly.   
"Why don't you ask him yourself, baby girl" he drawled pointing at Alex who was exiting the elevator behind Hotch.   
"I want to say yes but it depends on the light and how much beauty sleep I've gotten" he answered laughing as her face turned a nice shade of red. He spun the coffee tray around in his hand and handed her the cup with her order in it.   
"You must be Garcea, one coffee with four sugars and cream" he said picking it out and handing it to her.   
"Thank you. How did you know what to get?" she asked holding the cup with both hands.   
"It's alright. I had help" he said nodding to Hotch who had already handed out his tray and was retreating back to his office with his own cup. Hours later Alex's phone rang.   
"Agent Riley, Behaviour Analys Unit speaking. How can I help?" he said holding it to his ear with his shoulder picking up a pen.   
"I was told a funny story this morning" Kelly spoke slowly "You got anything you want to tell me?"   
"Sorry darling that only works if it's my mum and I've done something wrong, but please do tell me the story" he said and leaned back in his chair and tapping the pen against his leg, accidentally bringing all attention to the call.   
"The lovely man at the coffee shop that I go to when I fancy a coffee, told me he had saw you this morning buying coffee with another man" Kelly said and Alex started laughing "This isnt funny! Are you cheating on me with a man?"  
"Oh my god, no, no I'm not cheating on you" he said between laughs, the team looked horrified "Kelly that was Hotch I was with, he helped me with everyone's coffee order"   
"As in your boss?" she asked quietly and he could only laugh in response.   
"Yes, trust me. You have nothing to worry about. Hotch isn't really my cup of tea" he said "I have to go I'll see you when I get home" she didn't even say goodbye back she just hung up and he continued laughing at his desk until tears rolled down his face. Weeks passed and he fell into a steady rhythm, cases came and went, he tried to follow orders, bonding with the team and occasionally would bump into Hotch when he was getting a coffee or coffee for the team and an extra pair of hands were always helpful.   
"Alex, your request was granted for this afternoon." Hotch said standing over him  
"Request?" Morgan asked perking up for the chance at new gossip. Alex shook his head.   
"I'm leaving early today" he said fiddling with the pen on his desk avoiding everyone's eyes.   
"It's a big day" Hotch supplied gripping his shoulder to comfort him and Alex just nodded trying not to lean into the touch.   
"Three year anniversary" he supplied before checking the date just to make sure.   
"Oh doing something nice?" Emily asked leaning forward. He nodded and fished the small ring box out of the corner of his desk drawer and held it between his hands fiddling with the lid.   
"You're popping the question?" Emily and JJ gasped out their eyes wide. Morgan whistled lowely and Reid grinned at him.   
"That's the plan. All going well" he supplied. And the elevator doors opened Kelly stepped out catching his eye. He slipped the ring box into his jacket pocket and zipped it shut.  
Hotch took a step back and stood next to Reid's desk away from them.   
"You ready?" she asked as he leaned his head back to look at her. A small smile played at her lips.   
"Never" he responded as she tapped his chin with her nails "Gimme five seconds to finish up and we can get going."  
"You must be Agent Hotchner. Nice to finally meet you" Kelly said shaking his hand.  
"Likewise" Hotch responded with a small smile.   
"And your name must be Derek Morgan" she said to Morgan "Xander, you never mentioned he was hot"  
"Behave" Alex grumbled taking the last swig of his coffee while rolling his eyes.   
"Or what? You'll spank me?" Kelly said with a laugh, Alex choked on the coffee that was in his mouth and started coughing, trying to inhale lungfulls of air. "Sorry sorry. I couldn't help it"  
"Jesus christ" he muttered between coughs and she rubbed his back softly still laughing "Work place boundaries"  
"I'm sorry. Slip of the tongue. Happy anniversary" she whispered next to his ear "Your gifts at home"  
"I shall see you all tomorrow" he said, clicking the log off button, hoisting his bag up onto his shoulder and grabbing his jacket. Wrapped an arm around Kelly's shoulders. "My lady, your carriage awaits"  
"You just wanna see what your gift is" she laughed  
"Well do you have a bow on under those layers?" he asked tilting his head, his fingertips tapping against the back of the thin jacket she was wearing.   
"No" she answered with the same smile.  
"Shame. I was hoping to unwrap it" he responded pressing the elevator button then remembered he was still at work and stopped.   
"What was that about workplace boundaries?" Emily called over to him and he hung his head face turning red. Kelly was cackling next to him and he playfully shoved her into the elevator following behind, moving away from the laughter coming from his team.   
"She's gonna say yes. Without a doubt" Morgan stated and was met by multiple nods.   
Alex had been nervous while eating dinner, he'd gone for fancy but not too fancy. She asked about the team, about latest cases and how he was feeling being so far away from home. He knew she was in the same boat as him, alone, far away from home from family but they were together. He paid refusing to even let her try which earned him a kiss on the cheek. They walked together and the rain started falling from the sky in heavy droplets.   
"You know I love you right?" he asked as the rain started falling on them already starting to soak the shirt through his jacket.   
"Of course" she laughed "I love you too. What's wrong? What have you done?" she stopped walking to look at him. He took a deep breath and slid down onto one knee, water soaked through his suit pants and her eyes widened. "Xander."  
"I had a whole speach planned, Hotch even helped me write it but to be honest I've forgotten most of it." he started "The gist was that I love you. More than anything else. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I had a question to ask. Kelly-Anne Collins will you marry me?" he opened the ring box and looked at her, hope filling his face.   
"Yes" she gasped "Yes" he surged to his feet sliding the ring onto her finger and cupped her face in his hands pressing their lips together, the rain falling around them was forgotten. The world was forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow on from chapter 2  
> Mature content ahead. Skip if thats not your thing.

Getting into the car was more difficult then it had ever been before, neither of them wanting to release the other. Alex had leaned over the middle console and kissed kellu soundly again tangling his fingers in her hair.   
"Get us home Xander" she murmered against his mouth. He took a few seconds before his brain caught up and they were speeding towards their flat as a speed that would make Morgan proud and Hotch disappointed. Then getting out of the car became an issue as their mouths were reattached and Kelly's hands were up his shirt, her nails scratching at his skin gently. He pulled away and scrambled out the car, she was pressed against his back as he wrestled with the front door. His head dropped forwards when her lips found the back of his neck. He shoved her in front of him almost frog marching her to their front door letting her unlock it, she spun as she stepped over the threshold grabbing Alex and dragging him in with her. His foot snaked out and kicked the door shut behind them. Their fingers roamed across skin under shirts and the top of pants feeling every freckle or scar.   
His hands finding their way to her waist pulling here shirt up over her head. His followed not far behind, buttons scattering everywhere. Her fingers danced up his chest over the scars and up to his shoulders. Their pants came off next making a new pile on the floor, Alex kicked his leg shaking the soggy material onto the carpet. His hands were on her again in seconds, he was tilting his head so that he could kiss her more thoroughly. Kelly's bra was launched behind them somewhere. Alex mouthed her neck humming into the skin teasing small moans from the woman he walked her back to their room letting her fall back onto the bed before crawling up her body. His hands wandered down her sides fingers hooking round the top of her underwear tugging them down her legs.  
"Alex. I swear to god, if you dont hurry up I will" Kelly never finished her sentence as Alex's mouth was on her clit gently licking at it.  
"Sorry what was that?" he asked innocently against her thigh. She answered with a moan of his name. Her fingers buried themselves into his hair, nails catching his scalp, at the feeling he let out a low groan against her.  
"Alex, please" she whispered breathless. He rested his hand on her hips and started circling her clit with his tongue. Kelly's hips bucked but he pressed them back down onto the mattress.  
"Easy darling" he drawled out grinning. She dug her nails into his shoulder as he inserted two fingers into her, his mouth moving slowly against her. Her nails dug in deeper enticing a moan out of him. She whined her head thrown back against the pillows.  
"Here. Now" she demanded guiding him back to her mouth by his hair. The kiss was wet messy fully of tongues teeth and harsh breaths. Her nails raked down his back and neck and he dropped his head to her shoulder biting the skin lightly. "Inside me please" she whispered and he pulled back.  
"Are you OK?" he asked tilting his head.  
"Perfect" she mumbled in response. He rolled off her, raking through the chest of drawers for the toy hidden inside. His fingers wrapped around the toy, it had been his first gift to himself when they got together but was mainly used for special occasions. He kneeled on the bed and she took the toy from him pushing him onto his back, moving his thighs apart with her hand. She pushed the end of the strapless strap on into him, he groaned pushing his head back onto the bed and his toes curled.  
"Honestly, you are evil" he gasped as her fingers brushed over his clit, she shifted forwards wrapping her lips around the firm sillicone, he groaned just watching her and she released it. He flipped them over laughter bubbled in both of their chests at how his training in close combat had come in handy in their sex lives "You ready?"  
She nodded and he pushed forward emitting a groan. Kelly moaned gripping his shoulders. He thrusted slowly rocking their hips together. He cursed lowly the toy rubbing inside of him. His hips stuttering as her fingernails raking down his back. Hard.  
"You look gorgeous like this" he said their eyes meeting. Her left hand found its way to his face pulling him down to meet her. He kissed her neck as they continued to rock together, the pace picking up and she came throwing her head back moans fading from her lips. A few more thrusts and he was right behind her burying his face on the pillow next to her head gasping for air. They lay like that for a while just catching their breath.  
"Right, you're squishing me" Kelly said tapping his arm laughing. Alex slid the toy out of both of them and rolled onto his back, lifting an arm so she could cuddle into him.  
"You look gorgeous like this" he mumbled.  
"Not so bad yourself" she responded and they both drifted into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A phone ringing woke him up and he blindly slapped at the bedside table for it.  
"Riley" he grumbled using an elbow to prop himself up. Kelly stirred next to him but didn't seem to wake up.   
"Sorry for waking you up" It was Hotch's voice and he didn't sound sorry at all "We are being called out to LA for a case"   
"Gimme twenty minutes" he said and hung up flopping back down and groaning. He took a deep breath hauling himself from the warmth, cursing every psychopath he could. He was half way through yanking a t-shirt over his head when Kelly spoke.  
"You know I thought we were passed the whole sneaking away after sex part of our relationship" she mumbled into his pillow and he laughed adjusting his belt.   
"I was trying not to wake you" he laughed "We are been called out on a case. I'll be home soon, hopefully. Go back to sleep" Kelly grumbled something and drifted back off to sleep. He grabbed his keys and Jacket walking to his car with his boot laces still untied. He was last there and sat down on one of the chairs sighing and brought his foot up onto the chair under him to tie the laces.  
"So how'd it go" JJ asked and he grinned.  
"She said yes" he said tieing his other boot. Morgan cheered from behind him.  
"I'm happy for you kid" Morgan said patting his shoulder.  
"How did she react to your speech ?" Hotch asked and he winced.  
"I forgot it" he said "Sorta just went with the flow"  
"I knew you would" Hotch stated and Alex scowled at him but before he could fire an insult at his boss the case was being explained. "Derek Lancely was murdered ten hours ago by this woman." he held up a grainy photo   
"If they know who did it. Why are we getting called in for a profile?" Morgan asked  
"I second that" Alex raised his hand stretching out his back "Actually hold on she looks familiar" he started flipping through the file frowning.   
"Familiar?" Reid asked as the man intently stared at the photo of her face.  
"Samantha Frelin! I believe her name is, she goes by loads of aliases but that's her real name. 17 murders under her belt all of which were married men with children, the ages of the kids differ but the methods the same" he said scrolling through his phone for the electronic file he had tucked away"I bumped heads with her in my early years as a constable for the police service, but no one could find enough evidence to catch her and everytime we did whoever had the evidence either disappeared or she did" Alex huffed out a breath. Looking at her face again.  
"She's been to Scotland?" Reid asked.  
"She's been everywhere. I lived in Edinburgh at the time." he said as the plane started to descend and smiled "She's not getting away this time"  
They climbed in a car that had been waiting for thrm, somehow Alex had ended up in the front seat next to Hotch.  
"Follow orders" Hotch grumbled Alex spun his head to look at him with a look a mild insult "This is a personal case I can see it all over your face. I need you to follow orders"  
"I will" he said as they pulled into a house with a white picket fence. Emily, JJ, Morgan and Reid had gone to the station and they had went to the last victims house.  
"Mrs Lancley, I'm agent Hotchner and this is agent Riley, we would like to ask you a few questions about your husband" Hotch said, Alex caught sight of a boy sitting on the back porch and wandered off without Hotch.  
"Mind if I sit with you?" he asked, the boy looked up and nodded. Alex dropped now next to him looking across the same road."What's your name?"  
"Alex" the boy answered  
"Mine too" Alex answered "Well technically it's Alexander. How you feeling?"  
"I'm fine" the younger answered playing with his shoe laces.  
"No you're not" Alex responded "And that's OK. Trust me I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I felt the same way when my dad died"  
"Really?" the kid asked.  
"Yeah. I was younger than you, I think I was 8 or 9. He was murdered too." Alex said linking his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees "No one expects you to be strong all the time. Yeah be strong help your mother, but don't force yourself to not feel it. No one expects you not to break"  
The boy next to him sniffled, Alex reached over and pulled him into a hug resting his head on top of the boys.  
"You'll catch her right?" he asked.  
"I'll try my hardest" he replied and left the boy with his thoughts and his card. Hotch was waiting out by the car with his arms crossed.  
"I'd like to point out before you yell, that you never gave me any orders to follow. Therefor I never disobeyed"  
"Just get in the car" Hotch sighed climbing in the car himself.  
"Learn anything?" Alex asked clicking his seat belt on and wiggling down into the seat to get comfortable.   
"Mr lancly was having an affair. The divorce is. Was. Pending." Hotch said turning into the police station.  
"That's all you got?" Alex gaped at him.  
"Did you get anything better?" Hotch snarked back and Alex looked away but didn't answer.  
"Kids going through a lot" was all he said. The car was parked and Hotch climbed out going to walk into the building.  
"You coming?" he asked opening the door when he realised Alex hadn't moved.  
"Just give me a minute. I need a breath" Hotch left the door open patting it as he walked away. Alex dropped his head against the headrest and sighed, maybe this case was too close to home. He scrubbed at his eyes and climbed out the car, something blunt and cold was pressed against his back. He could feel the mouth of the gun through his t-shirt.   
"Alexander Riley" a voice said "It's wonderful to see a familiar face in all this chaos. Walk with me" he slowly raised his hands to shoulder height and took a couple of steps.  
"Where did you get the gun Sam?" he asked as they walked away from the building. He took a deep breath. She unholstered his gun and dropped it into the SUV.   
"Doesn't matter. What matters is you, the final piece of my puzzle" she said grinning him, her brain had clearly let go of its last peices of sanity. "Who do you think will find you first? Your team or the local police?"  
"I can't imagine either are going to come looking for me" he answered shrugging. She stopped.  
"For a smart guy, you are really dumb. Of course your team are going to go looking for you" Sam said jabbing the gun into his back again. They were in a car park, one or two cars were left in the corners but no one seemed to be around. "How old were you when your father died?"  
"Eight" he answered his hands still behind his head.  
"Tell me what happened" she demanded.  
"You know what happened" he responded watching her intently "There was a whole news story on it. It can also be found on Google or any other search engine"   
"No the whole story. Not what the police put out. They missed chunks" she grinned at him.  
"He took me to scouts. It was the last meet up before Christmas, my eldest brother was supposed to take me but he had a new girlfriend and that would take at least an hour out of his time with her" Alex said "Mum told me not to go but I was set on it, so dad took me and waited outside in the smaller car park for me. I had to walk that little bit in the dark, the cars lights weren't on and I couldn't see him properly but when I opened the door. The interior lights activated and he was sat there in the drivers seat covered in blood. Not breathing. I couldn't do anything but look at him. The police thought he'd been shot with the amount of damage that had been done but no casings or bullets were found. He was stabbed 23 times."  
"What were you supposed to do? You were a child" she asked narrowing her eyes.  
"Listen? Not go to scouts that one night. Tell him to go home" he answered "I could have done many things to save him. It was an opportunity murder, it wasn't planned and it wasn't you who did it"  
"What? All this time I thought you were blaming me. That's why you were trying to catch me " she said raising an eyebrow.  
"What? No. I was trying to catch you, cause you are killing innocent people. I caught that asshole years ago" he said and his hand through his hair.   
"No I dont" she responded crossing her arms.   
"You literally have killed a man in the past 24 hours" he pointed out.  
"That is true yes" she answer "Okay fair. You're still going to get shot though. Hope that's OK."  
"Ah yeah whatever. No hard feelings" he said and closed his eyes, the gun shot rang through the air but he never felt anything. He cracked one open and looked down at himself, no blood no wound nothing. He looked across to Sam who was falling to the ground, a gunshot wound in her chest. He turned round to look at where it came from and saw Hotch, Morgan, Reid, JJ and Emily coming out from behind the two cars guns trained on the area where he stood.  
"Thank you for not letting her shoot me" he called across to them, he dropped his hands down "It's really not a fun experience. Side note, how did you notice I was gone?"  
"You were quiet for too long" Morgan snarked at him and he laughed.  
"Aw I knew you loved me really" he answered and he looked over the dead woman on the floor. "Game over."  
Hotch had kept trying to corner him while they were getting ready to leave and Alex did a great job of evading him until the got into the SUV. They had clearly planned around him cause he was stuck in the front seat again. He sighed as he climbed in.   
"You OK?" Hotch asked and Alex hummed, knowing what the older man was hinting at.   
"She already knew. The first time I got her. She claimed it was her who killed him but there was holes in her story, things that didn't add up. And she's four years younger than me." he said looking out the window "I was 8 when he died, so unless she was very advanced with her murder at 4 years old. It was never her."  
"Then why did you keep hunting her?" Emily asked and he grinned.  
"Cause that's my job" he answered with a slight shrug.   
Alex fell asleep on the flight home, he had his head lolled over the back of the seat but as time went on he slid further down the seat. He woke briefly blinking at his team and curled up on the seat resting his head on Hotch's thigh, his arm wrapped around the older man's waist and he nestled his head into his hip. No one said anything, not even when Hotch shifted and rested his open folder on Alex's head and shoulder using him as a table and blocking out the light so he could sleep easier.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning for this one folks. Domestic abuse ahead!

Things were good. Until they weren't anymore. It was little things like him leaving a plate out or being later home than he said he would be, until it wasn't. He didn't know when she stopped yelling and starting hitting him or throwing things at him. The first thing she threw had been her phone, the last that he remembered was a vase. It got progressively worse as weeks ticked by, Kelly had decided to meet him at work for their 'date night' it had been the same as when she had first visited the unit, she spoke to everyone smiling and laughing. JJ had even invited her out on their next night out (Cases pending of course) Alex briefly wondered if he would be able to go if she was going.   
"Are you ready?" she asked standing behind him, her hand on his shoulder, nails biting in slightly.   
"Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, just gotta drop this file into Hotch" he said picking up the file, Morgan took it from his hands.   
"Don't you worry pretty boy. I'll get it to Hotch for you" he said with a wink and Alex laughed until the nails bit in harder and he winced slightly.   
"Thanks Morgan" he said and logged off his computer gathering his things. He let Kelly lead him to the lift, waving as he walked.   
"What the hell was that?" she snapped at him, Alex looked at her with his head tilted. "Pretty boy" Alex's eyes widened and he stood back from her shaking his head.   
"Morgan calls everyone pretty something or other. Or some form of it. He doesn't mean anything by it" he tried but a pain flared across the side of his face and his eyes watered briefly. Kelly rubbed her own hand and refused to look at him even as he raised his own to try rub some of the sting away. Alex chewed his cheek and shifted away from her slightly, she raised her hand again and he full body flinched away. He took a deep breath and knew that date night was cancelled. He had woken up to three missed calls from Hotch but called him back knowing the man was be pissed at him.   
"Hi sorry, case?" he tumbled out trying to get his brain to cooperate with him, the side of his face stinging when he spoke.   
"Yes, wheels up the 30" Hotch said and hung up on him. A great start to the day. In reality Morgan was also running late and spun past to pick him up from his apartment, pointing out that he looked ruffled. Alex had laughed and shrugged it off ignoring the pain he was feeling. They were hoping the case would be quick but of course things were never that easy. And to top it all off, Alex had disobeyed a direct order from Hotch and the older agent was angry, Alex was angry, the man wouldn't accept that he had done it to help. Hotch cornered him in almost full veiw of the team, who respectfully looked away, Alex looked about ready to punch Hotch but they knew he wouldn't. He couldn't.   
"Will you stop going against my orders!" Hotch yelled at him "Are you trying to get yourself killed Alex? Is that your aim?" Alex flinched away from Hotch and his hands moved to cover his ears but he visibly forced them back down, which partially raised red flags to his team normally he would stand still and take it. "I give orders for a reason not for you to ignore them"  
"What difference would it have made! He was going to press the button anyway, he would have killed us all. And so what if I had died Hotch! I'm replaceable it's easy enough to find another profiler, and I'm sure you'd manage just fine without me" Alex almost screamed back at him, Hotch looked at him for a moment they all did and he snapped his mouth shut, his eyes widened and he walked away on autopilot to the car. He forced himself into it putting himself at the back beside the window with his feet tucked up under him. They piled in the car not long after, Morgan slid in next to him bumping their shoulders. Alex winced at the close proximity and knew that one of them was going to hit him sometime soon.   
"Kid you know if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm right here, for anything." he said and Alex continued looking out the window not even acknowleding their presence. He was the first person out the car and back onto the plane. Sticking himself at the back as far away from them as he could get away from their conversation and their looks. He was breathing slowly as if to stop himself from saying anything else or to calm himself, they gave him space to begin with but Hotch got up from his seat and sat next to him, Alex wanted to move away, out of his reach. He didn't say anything at first just sat in each others company.   
"I don't know what's going on with you right now and I'm not going to pressure you into telling me. You are not as easy to replace as you think you are Alex. You are important to this team, but I want you to take a couple days out and sort yourself out, spend time away from the office. You'll be ok" he ordered and Alex just curled in on himself further as Hotch rested a hand on his shoulder. He somehow ended up in Hotch's car back to the BAU. The slap or punch never came. Kelly was waiting for him when they got into the building, sitting at his desk with a face that told everyone he's was in trouble. He shivered like ice was being ran down his spine. The team moved away to give then some form of privacy even in the middle of the bullpen.   
"What the fuck Alex?" she shouted at him and he flinched "I've called you over 6 times in the past hour and not one was answered what the hell have you been doing?"  
"There was a case" he started quietly but she was yelling at him again. He flinched back slightly, all eyes snapped to him.   
"It's always a fucking case with you!" she screamed "You can't even stay in the house long enough to ask me how I'm doing or what I've been doing. We don't even eat together anymore. You're always away, and I'm willing to bet wherever you go there's someone your sleeping with. A prostitute maybe. Or someone you pick up on the way to the hotels you stay at. Someone in your team. And don't get me started on the screaming during the night, I'm getting fucking sick of it Alex, we are supposed to be engaged." anger rippled off both of them and he stomped down everything he had felt over the last month or so, he was safe, there were cameras everywhere. The fear was there but the feeling of people having his back was also there.   
"Cause I've had time to sleep with other people when I've been working my ass off so you don't have to. I've barely slept at all the passed couple of weeks but like you'd give a damn because you get to go to bed every night all peaceful and I can't even shut my eyes without feeling like I'm being watched or seeing the shit I've seen. But ah yes spending nights in hotels with the team exhausted and drained really leave room for midnight romps" he shouted back "You don't know the half of it Kelly and you never will."  
"Screw you Alex" she hissed ripping the ring from her finger and throwing it at him, she turned and stormed away. He bent down and picked up the gold band from where it had landed looking at it. He growled lowly and grabbed his stuff leaving the building, ignoring the calls of his name behind him. The taxi home had been uneventful almost like the driver knew not to speak to him.He found his car, the window had been smashed and someone had keyed the driver side door and he was willing to bet he knew who. He burst into his apartment and that's where it all went wrong again. He vaguely felt her fist cracking against his face and the hours that followed went by in a blur.   
"Has anyone heard from Alex?" Morgan asked the next morning when he had been sitting at his desk for hours yet Alex was nowhere to be seen he got a chorus of negatives. "Hotch have you heard anything?" the man had been leaning against Reid's desk looking over a file.   
"Nothing. I tried to call but it went straight to voicemail" he answered "I did tell him to take some time off but normally he would call to let me know that he was going to and how long he plans on taking so I can do the paperwork"   
"Do you think they will have sorted everything out?" JJ asked. Morgan shook his head.   
"I don't know. She was way out of line last night and did you see his face drop when he saw her. I think this has been building for a while" Emily said "She accused him of sleeping with us"  
"Statistically people who accuse their spouse or partner of cheating without evidence are the ones cheating" Reid pointed out and they all looked at him "However, not in all cases"   
Hotch's phone rang loudly and they all had to stomp down the hopes that filled them. He looked at the number and frowned.   
"Agent Hotchner" he greeted holding it to his ear.   
"Uh hi, this is officer Criag Green. There been a domestic disturbance at 997 Elton and Ryles" the man started and Hotch frowned. He knew that address, he just couldn't place where from.   
"We are not normally called out for domestic disturbances. Unless your needing the attacker profiled" Hotch stated.  
"Uh no we know who did it. We were called in by a neighbour who heard shouting and things breaking throughout the night. It's just we ID'd the guy and its came back that he's with the behavioural analyst unit of the FBI. We assumed he was one of yours, its a bit messy here but I think it may be a good idea for you to come down and-" the man said.   
"Well be right there" Hotch answered. Not letting him finish what he was saying and hanging up "The police are at Alex's house. By the sound of it there's been violence"   
They all rushed into a SUV. Hotch drove them to Alex's building trying his best not to break the speed limit. Of course he knew the address, he'd dropped the younger man off countless times.   
"Alex isn't capable of hurting kelly is he?" Reid asked looking worried.   
"I don't know. He was pissed when he left last night and the throwing the ring and him. As well as it being in front of all of us. Its enough to tip anyone over the edge" Morgan pointed out. They parked next to Alex's car which had a window smashed out of it. They stopped and glanced at it for a second and an officer let them into the building. They were stopped by another as they got to Alex's landing.   
"Agent Hotchner I assume" he said shaking his hand.  
"Yes. What seems to be the damage?" Hotch asked putting on his professional face. He couldn't show that he was worried or scared for the man.   
"Watch yourselves moving about there's blood and glass everywhere. I think maybe a fractured wrist and definitely some major bruising and minor slices" he said and JJ gasped at the thought "The guy won't talk to us though so we can't tell the full extent or what happened. We had to search his jackets and bags for some form of ID to even know who he was. He looks pretty shaken up, no sign of the fiance. She must've ran after she'd realised what she had done."   
Hotch frowned and followed the gesture to go into the living room. Alex was sitting on the sofa holding his hands to his chest, blood was still dripping slowly from one of the slices on his forearm, but it was his face that caught their attention fully. A large bruise was forming covering most of the right side of his face and eye there was a slice through it the looked like it was aimed for his eye not below it. Morgan moved first crouching in front of him. Its seemed to take a moment for Alex to even register that he was there. Morgan rested his hands on the younger man's knees only for him to jerk away.   
"Kid what happened?" he asked and Alex shook his head, they could all see the proverbial walls he was building around himself "Sorry kid, can't get out of talking about this. Can someone go grab him another shirt?" he looked at the once white tee that had dark red stains in the material. JJ went into the bedroom to grab one.   
"I didn't hurt her" he whispered looking lost "I'd never hurt her. You never ever hurt the people you love."   
"We know. No one here thinks you did. We just need to know what happened?" Hotch asked sitting next to him reaching out a hand to comfort him but Alex flinched away, violently.   
"It was my fault, I should have made time to stay home or been home sooner than I was. She just lost her temper. Its my fault, she shouldn't get blamed for this" he said looking away from their eyes. JJ brought him a shirt draping it over Morgan's shoulder.   
"No Alex. It wasnt your fault" She said stepping back.   
"Alright kid, come on arms up let's get this shirt off and a clean one on" Morgan stated tugging at the bottom of the material. Alex shook his head again and pushed Derek's hands away stopping when he saw his own hands. He looked at them almost confused and wiped the dried blood on the t-shirt he was still wearing. He seemed to realise that he wasn't getting anywhere with it and shifted forward allowing Morgan to pull the shirt over his head, shivering at the sudden cold.   
"Alex, how long had this been going on?" Morgan touched bruises across his torso. They ranged in colour and size. There were scars too, but the ones across his chest would be discussed another time.  
"It's only cause I caused her to lose her temper. They are my fault" Alex repeated Morgan went to ask again but he was already in a spiral "They are all my fault. She didn't mean it and she apologied, I just should have been better, should've stayed home more, done more. She told me that she didn't want me anymore, I tried my hardest I really did. I just. I don't understand" and he continued it like a mantra as tears spilled over his cheek even as Hotch pulled him close and tried to use his body to block out the world for him, in order to give him a small amount of peace. Alex had his head pressed against the front of Hotch's suit jacket as he cried. For everything that he had lost and for all the pain he was feeling. Hotch held on to him just letting him cry into his suit, Alex had gripped Hotch's shirt in one of his hands, the other wrapped around the older man's arm and Emily had moved to sit on the other side of him gently rubbing his back trying to avoid all of the bruised that littered the skin. They were all thinking the same thing, why hadn't they noticed before?   
"I need a drink" he mumbled between sobs.   
"I'll get it for you" Emily said going to move.   
"No. No its OK I'll get it" he said untangling himself from his boss and using Morgan's head to balance as he squeezed passed them and into the kitchen, glass crunching under his shoes and he was glad he was still wearing them. He took a deep breath and leaned against the worktop and turned to run his blooded hands under the tap, he watched the water turn red as it swirled down the drain. His brain screamed at him as he turned and scowered the fridge for something, but instead turned back around grabbed the bottle of vodka off the shelf and debated putting it in a cup for a few seconds instead he twisted the cap off and took a swig. He held the neck of the bottle and went back into the living room taking another swig, he didn't even feel the burn. It was as if his feelings had shut themselves down cause he wasn't feeling much of anything. His brain tried to give him a static of domestic abuse but he took another drink to shut it up.   
"Alex" someone called but his head felt foggy "Alcohol is not the best thing for you to be drinking right now"   
"I'm fine" he mumbled taking another drink and resting his head against the door frame, the wood was cool and he debated rattling his head off it for a second before shaking the thought out of his head.   
"Come on. I'll get you some water" JJ said moving towards him but he took a step back making sure to stay out of her reach taking another drink. His shoulders dropped and he made sure that she wouldn't be able to reach him.   
"Seriously look at me I'm OK" he said "All fine" he glanced out the window, the idea that he could fall from it passing over his mind frowned the bottle almost slipping from his grasp in mild shock.   
"Alex. Put the bottle down" Hotch instructed gently and he nodded but the bottle didn't leave his fingertips, Hotch stood and gently pryed it from his hand. He closed his eyes and swayed slightly bumping into Hotch's side then scittered away slightly to make space between them.   
"This really fucking sucks" He let out "Do you think she'll come back? I kinda want her to but as the same time I don't" he laughed a hollow strained laugh eyes still trained on the glass.   
"I hope for your sake she doesn't" Reid supplied and Morgan made a noise of agreement.   
"You guys can go. I'll be OK, I've just gotta clean up a bit. You don't need to babysit me." he said and shook his head "I'll be OK" he sounded as though he was trying to convince himself more than them.   
"I'll stay here with you" Emily offered and he shivered.   
"You don't have to" he trying to get them all to go, then he could see if he could salvage some of his life.   
"You are not staying here alone. Who do you want to stay?" Hotch said. Alex sighed heavily and looked between them.   
"Any of the guys. No offence" he said looking back out the window.   
"I'll stay" Reid offered and he nodded in response knowing that he didn't really have a choice.   
"I'd you need anything. Call" Morgan instructed as they were leaving to both of them. And they nodded.   
"You didn't have to stay, Spencer" Alex said looking at him, his eyes were glassy.   
"I want to" he answered "That's why I offered. Do you want this shirt or a different one?" Alex looked at him for any sign of lies or deceit but saw none.   
"That one's fine" he said and took it off the doctor with a small "thanks" then cursed.  
"Everything OK?" Reid asks spinning on him and Alex just stares down at his own chest with tears in his eyes. He tried to blink them away but they spilled over.   
"Everyone knows" he whispered, a finger brushing over the scars across his chest and the tear splashed on his chest.   
"Alex it's OK" Spencer started but Alex shook his head.   
"Do you think they noticed?" he asked and sighed deeply sitting back down on the sofa. Spencer gave him an almost pitying look and rubbed his shoulder. "Thought so. Maybe I should just come out properly? Make it official" the reason of taking some control back remained unspoken.   
"You don't have to do anything" Spencer spoke slowly and the other rman nodded.  
"Hey Spencer" Alex said and Spencer looked at him "I'm trans"   
"I'm proud of you for telling me" the man responded and Alex nodded. He seemed to think for a couple of seconds then disappeared into his bedroom, Spencer could hear him rummaging about clearly looking for something. A few seconds later Alex returned into the living room with a small cardboard carton and a lighter in his hands. He stood next to the window, opening it as far as it would go, knowing well enough that it was a fire window and would open far enough for a grown person to get out. Spencer watched him.   
"Old habits die hard" he mumbled sliding one of the cigarettes out and lighting it behind his hand. He took a deep draw and felt the familiar burn in his lungs   
"Are you aware of the health risks of smoking?" Spencer asked from the other side of the room.   
"Yes Reid. I smoked for the first time when I was 15 and then on and off until a couple years ago. Now it's only when things go really wrong. I really wouldn't worry about it" Alex said with that same small smile he gave them when everything was going horribly wrong and he was trying to convince all of them that it wasn't.   
"There's 70 chemicals in cigarettes that are known to cause cancer" Spencer supplied and Alex sighed looking out the window. Occasionally taking a draw of the 'stick of death' in his hand. His brain supplied the thought of stubbing it out on his own hands and he frowned at himself taking it through the kitchen and running it under the tap.   
"Everything OK?" Spencer called through but Alex was still frowning at the now extinguished cigarette in his fingers and the thought that had passed his way.   
"Yeah. I'm fine" he answered slowly throwing the butt in the trash. Spencer's phone started ringing and he answered. Alex could only hear part of the conversation, the man only left him unattended for a few minutes before he reappeared.   
"We've got a case. Hotch wants you to stay here." Spencer said and Alex nodded. He knew in reality that he would be getting benched "You are to call if you need anything at all"   
"I will" he answered shrugging. Spencer looked apprehensive about leaving him "Go on. Go be someone else's hero" Spencer laughed as he left the apartment. Alex hummed looking around, he turned on the radio, grabbed a trash bag from the kitchen and god to work picking up the rubble of his relationship and his life.


	6. Chapter 6

It was almost a week later, Alex climbed in his car rolling both windows down so that no one would notice one had been smashed. He hadn't left the house in a couple days and the team texted every couple of hours to check on him but he'd not had any human interaction bar the odd delivery driver who was dropping food off. He stopped by the coffee shop, parking the car on the street in front. Part of him hated driving in the states, he preferred back home.   
"Oh hey man. Haven't seen you around for a while. Everything alright?" the barista asked, Alex had recently learned his name was Lennox, only after his mother had brought him home-made cookies.   
"Perfectly fine. Thank you" he answered. Shoving his hands in his pockets. It had become a habit to make himself as small as possible.   
"You just after the usual?" Lennox asked.   
"Yeah. Thanks" Alex responded, using his card to pay.   
"That's quite a bruise you've got there" he said while making the coffees, and Alex remembered why he hadn't left the house.   
"Work can get violent sometimes. Gotta fight the bad guys sometimes." he lied and watched as the coffees were put in front of him. He took the coffees carefully balancing them on his non bandaged hand to put the on the front seat, driving the rest of the way to the BAU. He greeted a few people who he walked past, each giving him an odd look, thankfully he ended up in the lift alone holding a tray of coffee in each hand, the doors slid open revieling the bullpen and he sighed. He stepped out and walked through the glass doors towards his team, Reid, Morgan and Emily were at their desks with JJ, Hotch and Garcea hovering beside them. Clearly something wasn't adding up in their case.   
"I can feel the grey hairs forming on you guys from here" Alex called across and their heads shot up "I brought caffeine"   
"Alex" they all said in almost unison and he realised he probably looked better than when they last saw him, the bruise was now sickly yellow and green and the cut under his eye was almost away. He put the trays down on his desk and tried for a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes.   
"They do have your names on them. Which I did write with my non dominant hand so there's that" he said brushing invisible lint off his hoodie. Garcea bounded towards him, stopping just short of him when he flinched away.   
"I was gonna hug you but you don't look like you'd be up for it" she said and he opened his mouth to speak but she was cutting him off "Which is OK. You've been through a lot. It's understandable to not want people in your personal bubble" Alex sized her up for a second, Penelope Garcea was a wonderfully kind woman who wouldn't hurt a fly unless pushed at it. Penelope was safe, she was safe and kind and would never ever raise a hand to him or anyone. He leaned forwards and pulled her into a hug his body going rigid of its own accord. She gripped on to him tightly, one hand on his neck rubbing at the hairs at the base of his skull gently.   
"Thank you" he whispered in her ear, he felt like crying but held it in. She let go and took a step back a big smile on her face. His hands were rubbing at his pockets, the team were watching him "Right, anyone else wanting a hug, speak now or forever hold your peace" He hadn't been expecting anything really but he was soon surrounded in a group hug by his coworkers, he laughed and gripped the fabric that was touching his hand. Fabric that felt an awful lot like a suit jacket.   
"Righty, I better get going I've got a tonne of stuff to do. One being getting the car fixed" he said pointing to the lift.   
"Kid, what did you do to your hand?" Morgan asked and he shook it out.   
"I was picking up shards of glass from the bedroom and sliced myself. Its all good nothing major and yes I went to the hospital to get it checked out" he said and prepared to leave "Oh one last thing before I go. I'm a transman" and he was in the lift heading down again. His phone buzzed several times in quick succession.   
A HOTCHNER - Thank you for telling me. I will add it to your file, I'm proud of you Alex.   
D MORGAN - proud of u kid.   
S REID - Not what I was expecting but well done  
E PRENTISS - Proud of you for telling us. Love you.   
J JARAEU - Love you lots Alex!  
P GARCEA - I'm so proud of you for sharing that with us. If you need anything at all, just let me know. I LOVE YOU <3  
Alex smiled at his phone and climbed into the car feeling lighter than he had for a long time. He was like a feather and absolutely nothing could bring him down. He began his drive home when his phone started ringing and he didnt recognise the phone number on the screen.   
"Hello?" he asked parking in a gas station so that he wasn't pulled over.   
"Alex, hey its David" the voice said and Alex took a minute to think. He had met the man in a bar when they had first moved across and had became very good friends.  
"Oh hey. What's wrong?" he asked leaning against the steering wheel.   
"Listen I've gotten myself in a bit of a pickle and was hoping you could help me out" David suggested and Alex agreed. He had assumed it was something small. He was wrong. Alex pulled up outside of the complex and went to knock on the door. Alex wasn't entirely sure what had happened one minute they were talking then the next there was a body in his bathroom and they were yelling at each other then Morgan had kicked down the door. There was a firm body pressed against Alex's back and a sharp object against his throat. He swallowed and looked at his team, he wasn't entirely sure but it looked like Hotch might explode. He tried to convey his innocence with just his eyes.   
"You are gonna let us past and to Alex's car or else your be cleaning up his blood off the floor" David hissed and Alex's body ran cold. His feet were kicked and he was forced to walk forwards desperately trying to convey his need for help as well as his innocence without saying anything. The guns that his team held were still pointed at them and his heart thumped in his chest. He was forced into the drivers seat of his car, David slid into the passenger side pulling out a gun and aiming it at his chest. Alex heaved a breath.   
"Drive fast or they all die" Alex didn't move "Didn't you hear me? If you don't start driving now I will get out this car and shoot all of them" he licked his dry lips and nodded slowly driving out of the car park. The SUV was right behind him so close he could see Hotch angry driving in his mirror.   
"Can I call them?" Alex asked looking away from Hotch's eyes.   
"What?" David asked looking at him like he'd grown another head.   
"The team can I call them?" he asked again meeting Hotch's eyes in the rear view mirror.   
"So you can come up with a plan to stop me?" David hissed. Alex shook his head.   
"No. I just want to speak to them" he answered.   
"Fine. Say your goodbyes" the man handed over Alex's phone. Alex called Hotch and watched him answer.  
"Alex pull over" Hotch demanded into his ear.  
"I can't. I really really want to. But I can't, I'm not letting his hurt you guys" he replied "I just wanted to say goodbye. There's a letter in my desk, for my mum, could you give it to her?"  
"Alex. You'll be fine. Just pull over" Hotch tried softer this time "You're not in any trouble. I don't know why you were there but you're not in trouble. This case didn't involve you."  
"Makes a change." he laughed but it's didn't sound right even to his own ears "Promise me you'll give it to her Hotch"  
"I promise" the older agent almost whispered. Alex hung up dropping the phone into the cup holder and blinked tears from his eyes and yanked the steering wheel to the side sending the car off the road and down into the ditch below. The car rolled and his head smacked against the wheel dirt flying in through the open windows. It felt like it took forever to stop careening down the hill, his ears were ringing and his chest hurt. He unclipped his seat belt sending him crashing into the roof of the car on his shoulders. He looked to David who didn't seem to be breathing and couldn't find it within himself to feel sorry. He tried to open the door but it was stuck shut. He tried again but it wasn't getting him anywhere, he took a deep shakey breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he reopened them Hotch and a paramedics faces appeared in the window next to him and he reached out for the man, who reached back and grabbed his hand.  
"That was the worst idea I've ever had" he said his head lolling to the side so he could look at him properly. Hotch had a tight grip on his fingers. The man went blurry for a second and he blinked.   
"You can say that again. Don't close your eyes Alex. You've got to stay awake" Hotch said and the younger agent nodded before losing consciousness.  
Both Alex and David were taken to the hospital, the team following behind the ambulance. Hotch tried to convince himself they were OK, well Alex was he couldn't care less about David. They all sat in the waiting room, looking out for anyone who knew anything.   
"Aaron Hotchner?" a doctor called and he stood up followed by the team. "Looks like you've only recently been added as miss Riley's emergency contact"   
"Mr Riley" they all corrected and the doctor looked shocked.   
"Ah yes. I see that" the doctor said "I'm strongly suggesting Agent Riley doesn't go back to work for at least 7 weeks so that his injuries can heal. No strenuous activities, and lots of fluids also make sure he eats"   
"Can we go see him?" Morgan asked and she nodded directing the to the room. Alex was laying on a bed his eyes closed and a monitor hooked up to him. They sat around him and waited for him to wake up. When he did he immediately shut his eyes again and groaned.  
"I feel like I rolled a car" he groaned out then snickered wincing in pain.   
"You have such an odd sense of humour" Morgan stated and went to get a nurse.  
"Any pain?" Emily asked and he sighed.  
"Just in my body and my pride" he answered then looked at Hotch "You held my hand"  
"I did" Hotch agreed "Don't ever make me pull you out of a car wreck ever again"  
"No promises, my life's a car wreck" Alex answered shifting and hissing in pain. Alex groaned lowly.  
"Ever again" Hotch warned and moved away so the nurse could get in and look over him.   
"How are you feeling Mr Riley" he asked and Alex sniggered opening his mouth.   
"As his emergency contact you have my permission to hit him if he makes another car crash joke" Hotch said then smiled at him Alex smiled back pressing his head into the pillow "We are going to leave and let the nurse do what he needs to. I'll bring you back some water"   
Alex nodded and his attention went back to the nurse standing next to him who was grilling him for answers about his mental state and his pain level. The team waited outside for a little while before being welcomed back in, Alex was sat up against the pillows looking mildly horrified but and the same time mildly amused.  
"Ah there he is my loving boyfriend" Alex said and began cackling like a madman.   
"Who?" Morgan asked and looked at the other two men in the room.  
"He's high as a kite and I simply asked him if he was dating you, Agent Hotchner and he's been giggling ever since" the nurse said shaking his head "I'm not sure if it's the pain meds, nervousness or just generally a weird sense of humour but you've got another 30 minutes of visiting time left" and disappeared out of the room. Alex was still sniggering to himself.  
"Only you Alex" Emily shook her head and he started giggling again  
"Fuck man. I'm tired" he gasped out.  
"Watch your language" Hotch scolded which sent the younger man into fit's of laughter again. Alex smiled and they all smiled back, it was nice to see him free of the usual chains that held him down.  
"All of you go home." Alex ordered "I'm in a hospital bed, no one can hurt me from this bed. I'll be fine and it's not like I can do any more damage from here, I mean I probably could but I won't" they all reluctantly got up and left before the nurse came in to tell them their time was up. Alex waved as they passed the window then dropped back down with a sigh, he picked up his phone and started shopping for a new car. Four and a half days later he was allowed to leave, Morgan had come to pick him up from the hospital and had to sign him out, as his current designated adult.  
"How ya feeling?" he asked as they drove to Alex's apartment.   
"Glad to be out of there" he answered. Morgan nodded. It was strange his car not being parked outside but there was nothing he could do about it now. "Thank you. You're welcome to come up if you want, I promise it's better than it was last time you were here."  
"It's alright kid, I'll let you get some time alone. Get some sleep" Morgan laughed and he thanked him again exiting the car and heading up the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex had good days and bad days as he healed. On the bad days he struggled to get out of bed or do much of anything. The good days weren't much better but he at least showered and ate something, sometimes even turning Netflix on. On the bad days when he finally hauled himself out of bed he found himself spending most of his time on the sofa in the dark and quiet watching the ceiling. On the worst of the days which only happened once in the month he was told to take off, he didn't answer his phone which buzzed every hour without fail, he just lay on the floor and watched the ceiling having not been able to muster the energy to at least lay on something softer. Someone knocked on the door and he closed his eyes as if it would block out the noise. Whoever it was just kept knocking until he was ready to throw something at the wood.  
"It's open" he called from the floor. He heard the door creak open and multiple sets of footsteps come down the hall and he lifted his head off the flooring meeting the eyes of his team before dropping his head back onto the hardwood floor with a resounding thump. "What are you doing here?"   
"You didn't answer your phone. So we got worried" Penelope said and Morgan helped him to his feet. Alex swayed at the sudden change in altitude of his head. Morgan grabbed his arms and steadied him. He blinked a few time and tried for a smile.   
"I feel loved but I'm OK. It's just a bad day" he said, his head drooping "I'm just tired. I'll make sure to answer my phone from now on. Promise"   
"Well I'm glad but you've got us here now and we're not going anywhere" was the response from Emily and he found himself bundled onto his sofa surrounded by his team mindlessly watching a movie. He wasn't even sure what it was. His head had been resting on a shoulder that he later realised was Hotch's. Alex had remained away from the BAU for the entire time he had been instructed. His first day back he got the bus in, having still not gotten a new car yet. He stepped out the lift taking a deep breath. He was on desk duty not that he minded, he picked at his fingers as he walked into the bullpen.   
"Alex!" Morgan called to him as soon as he noticed the man standing looking lost, they pulled him in and a feeling of peace flooded him. He was stuck in the building while they ran around risking their lives. It took weeks before he was allowed to go back to field work. As soon as he got the letter from the doctor as well as the shrink, Alex had bounced up the steps slamming Hotch's office door open and the letter was dropped in front of the older man and Alex was almost bouncing on his toes in excitement a huge smile across his face.   
"Have you been that excited to get back out in the field?" Hotch asked quirking an eyebrow. Alex nodded and a laugh left the older man's lips, warmth flooded his body and he didn't know why. "Well it seems everything is in order so i see no reason why you can't. But you have to be careful."  
Alex was bouncing again and grinning like a small child. Hotch continued laughing and Alex bounced down the steps to sit at his desk.   
"Everything OK pretty boy?" Morgan asked.   
"Hmmhmm" he answered tapping away at his keyboard. The next few hours passed quickly, throwing insults about the desks and coming to the realisation that Emily and JJ had a photo of him sleeping on Hotch's shoulder. Then they were being called on a case. It was two days later they were heading back home on the plane and Alex's phone was ringing without end, he hauled himself out the seat disappearing to the back of the plane for privacy. They landed and he bounced out the door and down the steps where a brand new Honda was waiting next to the FBI vehicle.  
"Who's is the Honda?" Morgan asked and Alex opened the drivers side door bouncing in and taking the keys from the mirror.   
"Oh my god guys. New car smell" he said and they laughed "Anyone wanting to come back to the BAU with me?"  
"Absolutely not. You drive like a maniac!" and there was a chorus of agreements and they bundled into the SUV with Hotch. Alex adjusted the seat to suit him and watched Hotch pull out of the car park and drove slowly behind him before grinning and pressing the gas slightly.  
"Race you" he said into the speach to text and sent it to Morgan so that he could pass it onto Hotch. His phone started ringing seconds later, he answered with a grin.   
"That is a very bad idea Alex" Hotchs voice came out the speakers and Alex laughed  
"You're just worried that you'll get beat" he answered.  
"No I'm not" Hotch said and Alex could see him glaring the the phone. Alex pressed the gas harder and shifted gear pulling the car up so their bumpers were level.  
"Yes you are" he taunted. And glanced to look at the man he laughed and pulled the car in front of the SUV and shot forward. Hotch must've had the same idea as he was right behind Alex. Alex hung up the call and drifted the car around a corner still laughing as he did so. They were bumper to bumper again and he couldn't force the car to go any faster but Hotch was inching forward. Alex bit his lip and pressed the break letting the car slow down and driving right behind the FBI SUV. Hotch could see Alex grinning in the rear veiw mirror and frowned slightly raising his eyebrows. The headlights on Alex's car dipped then turned off, the car disappeared from view.  
"Uh Hotch, Alex's gone" Reid said looking out the back window, JJ looked back as well but the dark coloured car had gone. Hotch slowed ready to stop but a dark car skidded around the SUV and Alex wiggled his fingers at them grinning before straightening the car and shooting off, his lights turning back on. They watched as the tail lights disappeared in the distance and Hotch shook his head with a sigh. He pulled into the company car park and Alex was leaning against the hood of the car grinning like a Cheshire cat.  
"What took you so long?" he sniggered. Hotch pulled him into a half hug.  
"I thought you had crashed again" he hissed in Alex's ear. Alex huffed another laugh and pulled away.  
"I've never crashed by mistake. That was purposeful" he answered, then realised what had happened. That Hotch had truly been worried. That Hotch, only weeks earlier, had watched his car roll down a hill and had to pull him out of the wreck "Right. Yeah shit. I forgot about that. I promise I'll drive safe from here on out. No more racing"  
Hotch looked like there was an intense battle going on in his head but stepped away from the younger man. Alex clapped his hands together.  
"So I was thinking drinks? As a job well done" he suggested and got a chorus of cheers.   
"Don't get too drunk" Hotch said and Alex raised an eyebrow. Throwing an arm around their unit chiefs shoulders.  
"Oh no. You're coming with us" he stated leaving no room for the older man to argue.   
They met at the bar Alex had suggested, all crowding in the booth. Alex hummed to the music holding a glass of something red in his hands.  
"What on earth is that?" Emily asked pointing at the glass, a beer in her hand.   
"I actually don't know. Tastes like cherries which is pleasant" he said "You should probably never tell a bartender to surprise you"   
"Oh my god you sounded like Hotch" JJ exclaimed pointing at him. Alex laughed and shook his head.  
"No it really did. Man you're clearly not getting laid enough" Morgan Stated and both Alex and Hotch choked on their drinks.  
"Derek Morgan I could go home with almost anyone in the bar if I wanted to" Alex said humming the tune again.  
"No you couldn't" Morgan challenged.   
"Yup I could, obviously bar straight men and lesbians, but anyone who's into guys." Alex said finishing his drink.  
"Prove it" Morgan spits at him playfully and a grin plays on Alex's lips.  
"If you insist" he says and gets up squeezing past Reid and pointedly ignoring the calls for him not to rise to the challenge. He stood at the bar resting his elbows against it scoping out potential targets. He ordered another drink and leaned on his back, he could feel the teams eyes on him.  
"Alright darlin" he said to the woman standing next to him. She gave him the side eye and smiled.  
"You're not from round here are you?" she asked leaning on her own elbow to look at him.  
"What gave it away?" he asked grinning.  
"The accent mainly, unless that's just for show" she said and he sipped his drink.  
"I can garuntee that it's not. Born and bred in Scotland" he stated.  
"So what does a true Scotsman wear under his kilt?" she asked leaning into him. Alex downed the rest of his drink and she closed the gap. Her mouth landing on his, her fingers dancing on the skin under his shirt. He laughed and pulled away.  
"Wouldn't you like to know" he stated then he was being pulled away from the bar by his hand and out the club. He smirked as he caught the shocked faces of his team and gave them a lazy salute. Less than ten minutes later he was sinking back down into the booth next to Reid, a new drink in his hand.   
"Not taking her home?" Hotch asked raising an eyebrow.  
"Oh no. She was too far gone so I popped her in a taxi home" he said leaning back resting an arm behind Reids head and stretched his legs out, lightly kicking Morgan under the table.   
"You have lipstick on your mouth" Hotch pointed out.  
"I have been informed that I have very kissable lips" Alex said and the grin was back on his face "You should try it sometime" he winked directly at Hotch and the team gaped at him. JJ had a napkin in one hand and his chin in the other using the rough tissue to rub the offending stain off his lips. Alex rested his hands on her thighs and let her scrub away the stain.   
"That way if you do kiss anyone else they don't get sundown purple on them" she said and let his face go. Alex sat back and caught sight of a man staring at him and wiggling his fingers in the man's direction and winking. The team followed his line of sight.  
"Okay okay. You've proved your point" Morgan said.  
"Oh have I?" he answered. His mind blamed the alcohol he has consumed on his bravety.  
"Yes" Morgan huffed and leaned forward.  
"Shame. I could've made this even more interesting but I won't" Alex said "Wouldn't want to scar you for life"   
Morgan huffed again and pushed a hand on the other man's face. Alex sniggered. He never noticed how his boss was watching him. Time to leave came and Alex bundled them all into taxis sending them all home with strict instructions to text him as soon as they crossed the threshold before walking in the direction of his own apartment. A woman walking in the same direction caught his eye and his walked faster, matching her speed. She spun on him ready to fight.   
"I swear I'm not a monster. No one should walk home alone" he said holding up his hands to show he was unarmed "Especially not this late"  
"Sounds like something a monster would say" she stated and looked at him warely.  
"You know if you hold your keys between your fingers it acts as knuckle dusters as well as a shank" he stated and watched her try "No. Hold on like this" he said grabbing her hand and adjusting the keys in it before releasing her. She gave him a funny look.   
"Is this you trying to earn my trust so that you can jump me?" she asked.  
"Nah. Trust me I know the feeling that you feel right now. I used to hate walking home alone from clubs and bars especially if a man was walking behind me. " she gave him a disbelieving look "I'm trans if that makes you feel any better. Female to male"  
"Oh. You actually don't realise how much safer that makes me feel" she said "I'm Jacky" she held out her hand for him to shake  
"Alex. Or agent Riley if you'd prefer" he answered shaking her hand gently "I'll walk you home"  
"Agent Riley?" she asked raising her eyebrow.   
"I'm a profiler for the FBI" he said, pulling his badge out of his pocket and showing it to her.   
"I feel even safer now." she said and he laughed.   
They walked together until they reached her building.  
"This is me" she said bouncing on her toes. "Do you wanna maybe come up for a while?"  
"Are you inviting a strange man into your house?" he asked raising an eyebrow.  
"Yeah I think I am" she answered and took his hand leading him to the apartment. "I guess I just need a friend"  
He sat at her dining room table draping his jacket over the back of the chair.  
"I get that" he responded and she sat opposite him "I guess we all just need a friend sometimes"   
"I. Thank you, for walking with me" she said and looked away "Things have been tough recently"  
"Hey, trust me I get that too" he said and gripped her hand "I have been informed that I'm good at listening"   
"For some reason I don't believe you" she snarked at him and he snorted.   
"Unless you ask my boss. He wouldn't agreed with that statement" he shrugged and she took a deep breath.   
"My dad died recently and on top of that my ex decided that a newer model was better. I've just been feeling really run down" she said and blinked away tears "I don't even know why I'm telling you this" he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and smiled gently.  
"I've got one of those faces" he tried "Sometimes it's better to talk about what's bothering you. Even if it is to a total stranger"  
Jacky poured her heart out to him and he listened, offering advice when he could. In turn he told her about himself and what was on his mind. He stayed with her until Sunday night, just keeping her company and making sure she would be OK. When he left she wrapped him in a hug and told him to pop by whenever. Alex left with a new friend and a smile. It was the next afternoon he saw her again. Alex had been sitting at his desk, talking with Emily and JJ when she stepped out the elevator.  
"Hey" he said and smiled standing up to meet her "Everything OK?"   
"Hey. Yeah, You left your jacket at mine" she said handing the black canvas jacket over to him.  
"I did wonder where that had went" he said dropping it on the back of his chair.  
"You spent the entire weekend at my house. Where else would it have gone?" she asked with a laugh and he shrugged.   
"That's fair. Everything OK?" he asked walking her back to the elevator.  
"Yeah. I'll get going let you go back to saving people." she said and got in the lift "You should tell him how you feel" and the doors shut leaving him gaping at them.  
"Oh my god, you took someone home from the bar" Alex shook his head and decided to let them think what they wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

"Yeah mum I know. I saw you at Christmas! Yes I'm aware how long ago that was. Work is hectic at the moment, cases are coming up left, right and centre. Yes mum I'm remembering to eat. Yes and sleep. No mum I haven't forgotten to do them. I know I've never missed one but I won't get home for it. I just don't have the time." Alex only paused to let him mother fire an argument back at him. His body slumped towards the desk, the phone still clutched against his ear." I promise mum, I'll come see you soon. As soon as I can I promise. Yeah. Me too. Right bye. Bye. Bye mum." the phone was dropped back into its cradle and his head thumped against the desk and he made a pained noise.   
"That was the longest phone call I've ever seen you make" JJ called over to him. He groaned in response.   
"Next time my mother calls, tell her I've gone missing or died." he grouched into the desk. JJ patted his shoulder on her way past.   
"An issue at home?" Emily asked and he lifted his head from the wood.   
"Not as such. She seems to forget that I'm not in Scotland anymore and that it's an 11 hour plane journey just to get to Edinburgh, then I've got another hour plus just to get home. That's over half a day!" he explained sitting up.   
"You could put in for time off, that cases aren't that bad" Reid said from his desk.   
"No it's OK. It's not important, I'll go to the next family get together." he responded momentarily forgetting he was in a room full of profilers. Morgan shot him a look which he pointedly ignored. Hotch's voice called him away from his screen and he followed the team to the conference room.   
"What's the snitch?" Alex asked sitting down next to Morgan.   
"There's been a stream of murders, each one with the same method and placement." Hotch started "We are being called in to help with a profile and catch the unsub. It is outside our jurisdiction however we've been specifically asked to come in by the NCA, which is the National Crime Agency in Scotland."  
"Well Alex. Looks like you'll get to go home after all" Morgan joked.   
"Scotland's a bigger place than you might think dumbass" Alex rolled his eyes "Where are we heading?"   
"Glencoe" Hotch said with a slight wince.   
"You are kidding me?" Alex exclaimed with wide eyes. Hotch made no indication that he was and that man's head found the wooden desk once again, however he lifted it slightly only to thump it back down.   
"Is it humanly possible to grow a mustache over night?" he asked against the wood only to be met by laughs.   
"Come on pretty boy. It can't be that bad" Morgan supplied which was met by a scowl.  
To say they had to force him onto the plane would be a lie, he went, with some coercing. He sat looking out the window until JJ broke his train of thought.   
"Do you think we'll meet your family?" she asked   
"God. I hope not. I told my mum I wouldn't get back home anytime soon. Glencoe is a small village, so if I disappear I'll be hiding behind or inside something." he sighed.   
"Is it just your mother there or is there more of you?" JJ asked.   
"Mums there. As are my siblings." he nodded in response "All seven of them"   
"Seven!" Morgan spat his drink out. Alex smirked.   
"There's eight of us all together. 4 boys. 4 girls. The eldest is 40 and the youngest is me" he said "Keiran is the oldest, then it's Johnny, then Sarah, then Sam, then Lee, then Nicola then Eliza and lastly me"   
and the conversation fizzled out. His fingers hovered over the text app on his phone. His mums contact information glared back at him.   
"Remember when you started with us and I told you not to let this job consume you?" Hotch asked and got a nod in return "Then why didn't you ask for time off to see your family?"   
Alex froze for a moment and scrubbed a hand over his face.   
"I've been busy" it wasnt a lie but it wasn't the full truth either. Even Hotch could tell he wasn't getting much information out of the younger man and dropped the subject quickly. They landed hours later and agents from the NCA were waiting for them next to an SUV. A European SUV.   
"Agent Hotchner" Hotch said shaking the other man's hand and the woman standing next to him and introduced them all.  
"Agent Tyler, the local police department will meet you at the scene, we don't want to cause to much disruption by taking all the cars in so you'll be going alone." the NCA agent stated "In the car there's an envelope with all the information in it and we've directed the local PD to be as helpful as they humanly can. Have any of you driven roads here before?"   
All eyes turned to Alex and he sighed.   
"I'm from here. I'll take the wheel" he said and the keys were handed over. He dangled them off his finger and looked back at Hotch.   
"Having a Scotsman on your team will work in your favour Agent Hotchner. Some accents are a lil hard to understand especially if you are from the States." the agent stated and left them to their own devices.   
"If it makes you feel better about me driving. I learned how to drive on these roads." Alex offered but the looks his team gave him didn't fill him with confidence. They all bundled into the dark coloured car and began their drive. Alex fell back into the easy rhythm of check mirror shift gear as he drove with Reid reading the file behind him.   
"This is the safest I've ever felt with you driving" JJ laughed as they passed the' Welcome to Glencoe' sign. Alex laughed back in good spirits almost as if he had forgotten to be in a sullen mood and Hotch wondered if it was the feeling of being home.   
"I passed my test on this road. First time may I add." he said looking out the window with a smile across his face "I know these roads like the back of my hand. Which will work really well for this trip cause I also know all the paths and best places to drink when you're not old enough to drink"   
"Will we get childhood stories?" Emily asked   
"Depends who we bump into" he answered and took a sharp righ turn towards the woodland trail. They passed two police cars one of which had the officer inside.   
"Jesus, its still here" he said stopping the car momentarily. The team followed his line of sight to a paint splashed over a solatary brick wall, it looked like it had once been a inverted version of the sky "There's a flashback. Glad I didn't get caught for that one to be honest with you"   
Shock wrote itself across the faces of all the agents. Before they could ask they were parking next to a tent patrolled by a single man wearing a bright yellow reflective jacket. They climbed out and the man walked over to greet them.   
"Have I finally lost my marbles or am I looking at the youngest of the Riley's?" the man asked with a grin. Alex grinned back.   
"Tom, its great to see you" he said accepting the hug that the man offered.   
"It's good to see you too, constable" the man, Tom, said.   
"It's agent now" Alex said.   
"How time flies. I remember when you were knee high to a grasshopper. Painting walls in your spare time"   
"You knew?" Alex asked narrowing his eyebrows.   
"Of course I knew. But I couldn't let my favourite kid get into trouble now could I" Tom replied "But enough of that. Body is in the tent. We tried to keep it as safe as we could."   
"ID came back as Lawrence Campbell, he was a local fisherman" Tom started Alex looked down at the body.   
"Oh I knew him. We went to primary school together" Alex stated crouching next to the body again ignoring the looks he was getting "Was very into the ocean, if memory serves me right. Could tell you every fish withing 300 miles of us"   
"Yeah well other than that. I canny tell you much else. That why we called you in." Tom said ready to leave them "You've got a reputation for sorting this stuff out just let me know when your leaving so we can call in the ambulance and move him somewhere a bit more comfortable"   
They nodded and the man went to leave the tent but spun round.   
"Oh Alex does your mum know your home yet? I know that family things coming up" Tom asked and Alex visably winced   
"Yeah no. She doesn't. Listen Tom please don't tell her I'm here" he almost begged "I don't need her breathing down my neck while we are trying to solve this"   
"Sure thing pal but you should let her know soon. If she finds out from someone else that your here and not going to see her she'll give whoever did this a run for their money" he said and left.   
"You're not going to tell her? Hotch asked crouching next to him.  
"Just drop it" Alex almost snapped and started making notes. Alex dropped into the drivers seat and took a deep breath, his hand hovering over his phone in his pocket again but he shook his hand out instead.   
"We will compare notes at the hotel" Hotch said "It's the duct tavern? Do you know where that is?"   
"Of course I do" the man grumbled and began the decent back down the muddy hill. His fingers turned white as he gripped the steering wheel, his foot hardly leaving the breaks in order to ensure they got down safely. They checked in, two to each room, and all met in Hotch and Alex's room. Alex dropped onto the floor and crossed his legs resting the notepad on them.   
"The killer is organised. All the victims are killed the same way and left in the same way." Hotch started   
"The unsubs use of the woods suggests that he's anxious about being caught its not careless there's method behind what he's doing" Reid said and it continued for over half an hour.   
"Anh ideas on who it could be Alex? You were brought up here" Emily asked.   
"The only people that I could even think were capable of this and fit the profile would be the Blakes. But they were ran out of here after Lance killed farmer Paul's lambs." Alex stated shaking his head but stopped and scrabbled with his phone calling Tom. His eyebrows were pulled together and he tapped his foot impatiently waiting for the man to answer.   
"Tom? Yeah it's Alex. Listen are the Blakes back?" he asked and went quiet for a few seconds "The sheep shankers yes. Are you sure? Because one was definitely a budding psychopath. No. No. No. Yes. We'll check it out" he said and began pacing.   
"Same address? Do you know why? Because your live here Tom. No I don't. That fair but no yes I'll tell her. No. I don't think she'll swoon. I'm sure they do. Thank you Tom" he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before hanging up  
"JJ Tom thinks your hot" he said  
"Thank you?" she replied looking horrified.   
"I know who our unsub is" Alex almost sang grinning "Lance Blake. He and his family were driven out of the village cause they kept killing the animals on the surrounding farms, he was unpredictable and impulsive. And really enjoyed hurting small animals and the killings have started same time he came back" Alex shared "And the final nail in the coffin, they are all people who called him a 'sheep shagger' oh yeah sorry it was said he had sex with the sheep then killed it" they looked at him horrified.   
The house was in disrepare and there was someone inside a couple lights were shining through the cracked windows.   
"Lance Blake! FBI open up" Alex yelled through the wood. They shared a nod. Hotch went first through the door followed by the rest of them, they fanned out torches shining against wallpaper, guns held out in front. Morgan nodded first and Alex slammed his shoe against the only closed door. Lance came screaming out of what used to be the kitchen brandishing a wicked looking knife, screaming, there was no words just noise. Alex ducked under the first swipe, but it was brought down the second one catching the side of his face and Morgan tackled him to the ground. Alex touch the side of his face his fingers coming back bloody.   
"That's the murder weapon" Reid pointed out and he pressed tissue to Alex's face. Alex was trying to bat the doctors hands away but Reid wasn't for moving. The knife was dropped into an evidence bag which was carried out to the car.   
Lance was thrown into the back of one of the police cars and they were welcomed back into the station with a round of applause. Alex was finishing off wiping the blood from his face and letting Hotch wipe the anti septic cream on the wound, when a voice behind him drained his face of colour.   
"Alexander Dean Riley"


	9. Chapter 9

Only one person uses his full name in the whole world. His body froze and did his brain.   
"You said not to tell her while you were working on the case. Case is done." Tom said with a knowing smirk. Alex scowled at the police officer and spun around with his hands up to surrender. The team gave him funny looked and he just looked mildly afraid of the 4 foot 11 woman standing a few feet away with her arms crossed.   
"Hey mum" he drawled out trying to smile sweetly at her.   
"Oh no Alexander Riley, don't you 'Hey mum' me. You didn't even tell me you were here!" she said and if looks could kill he'd be six foot under "Where you going to tell me at all?" He tried nodding and then sighed.   
"No. Not really" he said looking down like a scolded child, he opened his mouth to speak but she had already made up her mind.   
"What do you mean 'no'?" she asked smacking his arm. Alex yanked it away from her when she went to smack him again "That's it. You and all of your friends are coming to the house right now and you will be spending at least a full 48 hours with us and that is non-negotatable" she declared her arms crossed  
"24 hours?" Alex tried weakly and she shot a look at him. He very wisely shut his mouth and nodded. They found themselves in the car again with Alex behind the wheel still frowning "I'm sorry you're getting roped into this. If you want I can sneak you guys back to the airport? I'll say a case came up or something"   
"Oh no. Pretty boy. This is an opportunity to hear all the baby stories and meet mama Riley" Morgan stated grinning. Alex looked to Hotch for help but the man was agreeing with a small smirk on his face.   
"It can't be that bad" JJ suggested and Alex let out a low pained whine and the car filled with laughter. Alex pulled into the drive and parked behind a grey subaru, he pulled the key out of the ignition and mumbled what sounded like 'One day" under his breath. They all climbed out the car and Alex stood at the door for a second before opening it and walking inside with a deep breath. The hallway was lined with photos, older and newer of all the kids. It was fairly easy to pick out the ones of their friend, especially the more recent ones.   
"Uncle Alex!" a child's voice screached and fast footsteps where heard and Alex had dropped his bag onto the lino and was bending down to scoop the little girl up in his arms, he balanced her on his hip pressing a kiss to the side of her face. She giggled and started peppering little kisses all over his cheek and he continued down the hall the team right behind him, Hotch grabbed the younger man's bag as they went.   
"You're pretty" his neice said to the girls over his shoulder and they cooed. Alex rolled his eyes and pretended to drop her, she just clung to his jacket and giggled.   
"Go on go get mummy and daddy" he said putting her down and she zoomed off.   
"Were you cute like that once apon a time?" Morgan asked and he laughed.   
"Yes he was. Don't know what happened though" a man said from the living room and Alex sighed rolling his eyes. He looked similar to Alex, the same sandy blond hair and blue eyes but he was taller and broader than the agent.   
"Keiran" Alex greeted crossing his arms. His older brother broke out in a grin.   
"Oh no just cause you brought company doesn't mean you get to act the hard ass" he said and leaped forward grabbing Alex in a headlock, the agent hadn't been expecting it and ended up bent over trying to pull his brothers arm away from his neck, he was digging his fingers in but the older man wasn't for letting go. The team could only stand and watch as Alex was losing the wrestling match.   
"Let him go" their mother demanded. Alex grinned and smacked the eldest of the siblings in the nuts. Keiran bent in half grunting and let him go. Alex danced away cackling, moving to hide partially behind Hotch and Morgan "Right you have one chance you rectify your mistake" Alex smiled again.   
"Hey mum, turns out we had a case in the area but it's solved now so I thought I'd bring the team and come and see you as I said I would not be able to" he said carefully.   
"Better" she said and held her arms out for a hug he stepped around Keiran who was still moaning in pain on the floor and into his mother's arms dropping his head onto her shoulder, his knees bent slightly so she could reach around his neck. "Now let's see if I can guess who's who" Alex groaned letting her go. She stood in front of his team with a grin on her face.   
"You're in for it now Alex. She is a very literal woman" Nicola said and he pulled her into a sideways hug pressing a kiss to the side of her head. His big sister left him to suffer.   
"Lanky, skinny, looks like a fourteen year old but has old eyes. You must be Spencer" she said and pulled Spencer into a hug. The doctor returned it awkwardly and Alex moved to lean against the doorframe.   
"Pretty, dark hair looks like you know what your doing" she said to Emily hugging her "You must be Emily" the woman just nodded and hugged his mother back.   
"Which means blonde, youthful and smiley must be JJ" JJ got a hug too and grinned at him over his mother shoulder.   
"Walking wall of muscle and will flirt with anyone that breathes, but has a love for his friends unrivaled" she said "So you must be Derek" Morgan smirked at him as his mother hugged him.   
"And tall, handsome and 'resting bitch face' but a heart of gold" she grinned up at Hotch pulling him into a hug "You must be Aaron"   
"Right mum. Chill out" Alex put his hand on her shoulder before she started going into details.   
"Now my names Fiona. You are free to call me that or any form of it. Mum. Mother. Mama whatever. In this house everyone is family. No matter what" she declared and spun on Alex "You. You still need to meet your neice before Tami takes the kids home"   
"Mum she came running to me when I walked in the door. Wait, hold on did you say kids? As in plural" he asked she nodded and ushered him into the livingroom the team right behind him. Tami was sitting rocking a little yellow bundle in her arms. He moved forwards on autopilot crouching next to her tilting his head to look at the baby.   
"Wanna hold her?" she asked and he shook his head but his hands betrayed him.   
"I don't want to break her. She looks so fragile" he said "You never said you were pregnant"   
"I did. You were just too busy to get the message, running around all over the place then you moved away" she said "Come on hold her. You won't break her" she passed the bundle over and he held her carefully in his arms against his chest staring down at her face. The team could see the man fall in love with her right then and there.   
"She's gorgeous" he cooed "Hey girly. I'm. Your uncle Alex but you have no idea who I am or what I'm saying yet cause your brains not developed"   
"Her names Alexis" Kieran supplied from. The doorway next to the team still holding his crotch. Alex was so busy cooing he didn't realise until his head shot up, his eyes comically large.   
"Alexis? As in Alex?" he asked and they nodded "You named her-"   
"After our hero" they said together and he nodded "She's named after you"   
"Oh princess I am so sorry your parents have terrible taste" he said with a watery laugh "Can someone take her so I can rub my eyes"   
"Are you crying? Kieran taunted and Alex sniffled scowling at him.   
"Someone please take this child off me" he repeated and Tami took her daughter back, Alex rubbed his eyes and smiled slowly.   
"I'm proud of you" he said to her and pulled her into a hug being careful of the baby in her arms.   
"Hey I helped!" he called out and both of them ignored him. Tami started getting ready to put the kids in the car and Alex carried a sleeping Teegan out against his chest while his mother was sitting showing the team all the baby photos she could find. He was getting fed up with the jibes at him.   
"I'm glad you got to see them" Tami said as he helped bundle them both in the car.   
"Me too" he whispered tucking the stuffed frog under Teegan's arm gently. "I'm sorry I'm so far away now. I feel like everything's changing and I'm missing it."   
"No Alex. You don't have to apologise, your doing something you love. You are saving people. Just remember there's people here who love you too" she said and pulled him into a hug "Also your boss has been giving you heart eyes since he saw you with Lexi and you Mr have been giving them back. You deserve this Alex don't hide from things just cause you are scared" Alex nodded   
"I really don't think Hotch sees me that way" he said resting against the car "You must've confused it with the look of him waiting for me to do something dumb"   
"I don't think so. I know love when I see it" she asked pressing a kiss to his cheek and leaving with the kids, he waved until he couldn't see the car anymore. He went back in the house and even Hotch was cooing over the baby photos and the others that were mixed in.   
"You were cute, what happened?" Morgan said and Alex snorted.   
"I met you lot and started going grey" he snarked. His mother pulled out one and he winced, his hair was spiked up in odd angles dyed bright green and he looked like a typical punk.   
"Oh my god. How old were you?" JJ asked snapping a photo of the photo.   
"14. Maybe 15. I thought it was cool" he said and frowned at the woman.   
"We are going to the lake!" Lee shouted and Alex bolted up the stairs and ransacked his old room looking for trunks. Alex was bouncing on his feet waiting for everyone else to get ready, he had found extra trunks for the team and old black shirts for the girls and Reid.   
"Lake?" Hotch asked as Alex was loading towels into a bag.   
"It's part of mums land, we go down whenever I'm home. Dad used to take us down all the time" Alex said and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Hotch rested his hand on the man's bare shoulder. Alex scrubbed at his eyes again. A slight shock went through Alex's body.   
"You OK?" Hotch asked feeling dumb for even asking.   
"Yeah. It's just a lot of emotions whenever I come home. It seems like every time I come back something has changed." he answered and the older man nodded.  
"Change is good" he responded and Alex huffed a laugh.   
Hotch walked with Fiona as her kids, Alex included, sprinted down the hill.   
"Is it always like that?" he asked and she laughed in response.   
"You'd think they had a bet on but nope. First one there's the winner and they get to parade that about" she said "I don't know why they try. Alex always wins. I think they forget he was in the army and spends most of his days running around"  
They watched as Alex threw himself bsckwards into the water with a shout of 'Suck it'. Alex was lazily floating on his back, with his eyes closed but someone placed a hand on his chest and shoved him under water. Panic briefly filling his chest but his head was above water again and he was gasping for breath. He growled and shoved Lees head under water in return.  
"Alex, please dont murder your siblings. I know you a very capable of it but please don't" Fiona called and he let Lee's head go. He was splashed in his face and he spat it back into the lake. Alex dropped onto the grass at Morgan's feet and smiled up at them before shivering at the sudden cold. Hotch dropped one of the towels over him. He lay sprawled with his head on his mother thigh and a small smile on his face.   
"Your voice has changed" his mother said as she stroked his hair, he tilted his head to look at her with a frown "Not the pitch of it obviously. Your accent, it's a bit more well not American but its not the same"   
"Yeah that's bound to happen, I spend 98% of my time with or around Americans. The accent changes to fit it" he shrugged but the more they spoke and conversations flowed the more his true accent rose to the surface. It was nice to see him relax and just be himself. They stayed with his family and on their second and final night, things went pear shaped. Alex had disappeared off the face of the earth. Hotch wandered around the house poking his head into rooms looking for the second youngest of his team. He almost gave up in the kitchen but Fiona caught his eye.  
"What have you lost Aaron?" she asked smiling at him as she put the tea bag in the trash.   
"Alex" he replied leaning against the counter "I can't find him anywhere"   
"He's in the tree house" she gestured outside to the wooden structure built around a tree "He goes there when things get too much or too loud. Everyone knows to just leave him be when he's there"   
"Right, I'll just wait until he comes back down" Hotch said nodding. It wasn't important he just wanted to speak to the man.   
"I'm sure he won't mind your company" she nugged him towards the back door, he walked through the grass stopping at the bottom of the wooden ladder. He slowly climbed to the top, part of him wondering who built the tree house another part hoping it was sturdy enough to hold two fully grown adults. The light flickered slightly as he poked his head in the open door, Alex was sitting on his jacket with his knees tucked into his chest, his eyes boring into the wall. A wall which had scribbles all over some looking like a child's other looking like someone older had drawn them.   
"Hey" Hotch whispered not wanting to disrupt his peace. Alex looked at him with a slightly lopsided grin.   
"Hi" he responded and shifted over on his jacket so their was room for Hotch to sit beside him. Their arms and legs were pressed together.   
"Your mother said it was OK to come up" Hotch started and Alex bumped their shoulders.   
"I'm not angry with you" he responded "It's just peaceful up here"   
"Who built it?" Hotch asked.   
"Kieran and my dad. It was a birthday present. A place to get away from everyone" he said smiling "it used to be green and blue but the colours faded as I got older. I never got around to repainting it"   
Hotch looked at him, there was no tension in his shoulder, his face was relaxed but he looked tired. Alex looked back at him and tried look away but his eyes were glued to the brown ones of his boss. Alex sighed and looked away fully. Hotch leaned slightly towards him and he could hear Tami's voice in his head. He took a deep breath spun slightly grabbed his bosses face with both hands and smashed their mouths together, their noses awkwardly pressed together. Hotch froze and his hands stayed on his lap as Alex pulled away. Then his brain caught up with the rest of him, he had just kissed his adult boss in his childhood tree house.   
"Hotch. I'm so so sorry. Fuck should've asked first or just not done it" he rambled going to stand up still apologising. Hitch reached forward grabbing his wrist and pulling his back down to the same level, this time it was Hotch kissing him. Alex tilted his head slightly to avoid there's noses clashing again. He shifted slightly to get comfortable but the older man just nudged him along letting him straddle his waist. It began close mouth just lips on lips then Hotchs mouth opened under his and Alex took the opportunity running his tongue against his bosses, the older man's breath hitched. Hotch's fingers ghosted over the skin under his t-shirt as their lips moved together, Alex dug his fingers into the man's shoulders and they broke apart.   
"You're not mad?" Alex asked tentatively and Hotch scoffed capturing the younger man's lips again. Alex pushed his body against the older man's, carding his hands through short black hair. Alex's body was on fire and he pulled away slightly.   
"We really shouldn't be doing this" Hotch said against his lips. Alex agreed, he really did, but he was kissing him again and their teeth clacked together, It took a couple second but Alex realised his hips were moving against his bosses and he blushed.   
"We really really shouldn't be doing this. It's against regulations" Hotch reiterated and he nodded climbing off him mentally kicking himself. He had basically been dry humping his boss. His face flushed red as Hotch climbed back down the ladder and went into the guest house. Alex sat looking at the wall feeling like a total idiot, maybe he should write his resignation or change division so that he didn't make things awkward. He waited until all the lights turned off both in the house and the guest house and pulled out his phone. There was a number, no name attached that had been sitting there for years, unused, he pressed dial and held the phone against his ear.   
"Matty's whore house cum and pay" the voice greeted across the line.   
"That's a pleasant way to answer the phone" Alex responded laughing "You busy?"   
"For you Alec, never." Matty answered "Needing some help with something" his voice was low and sultry. They agreed to meet at Matty's House and Alex snuck passed the windows and into the car driving to the other man's house nerves shooting through his body. He felt wrong. Hours later he's was leaving with an ache in his back and feeling like the worst person on the earth. He passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. JJ had been the one to wake him up and he moved around them on autopilot, the sullen mood returning with froce. He moved away from Hotch when the man bumped their shoulders together and hardly met anyone's eyes. They left around 12 all bundling into the SUV. Alex drove just above the speed limit his fingers tapping to the rhythm of whatever was playing on the radio, Hotch who was sitting in the passenger side next to him kept shooting him glances. His phone began ringing and he answered through the car. Not looking at the number.   
"Riley speaking" he answered indicating to turn.   
"Oh how formal. You left your hoodie here" Matty said and Alex's defenses were immediately up.   
"Just keep it. I have loads more" Alex said humming.   
"I could keep it till your next visit" Matty said "Then give it back?"   
"I really don't think there will be a next time. We spoke about that this morning" Alex stated anxiety filling him. The team were in the car with him and he knew what Matty was like.   
"Well you never know. I vaguely remember you begging for more, only a few hours ago" he said and Alex flushed red his brain short circuiting and he tried to end the call but the button didn't respond "You really wanted to forget a specific event of your evening and came to lil old me and well some very interesting noises left your mouth" Alex sprung forward ending the call angryly smacking the button multiple times. His knuckles turned white around the wheel and he swollowed dryly.   
"Did you sneak out for a quickie?" Morgan asked without hesitation, Alex's silence gave them the answer they needed.   
"Shut up" he huffed and the car filled with laughter. Hotch shot him a look and he pointly looked away from his boss, his eyes watching the road. His heart filled with sorrow and he tried to shake all thoughts out of his head.


	10. Chapter 10

"What on earth is this?" Alex asked holding the envelope that had been sitting on his desk gingerly.   
"It's an invite to the FBI gala" Morgan Stated "They hold one every year. Everyone is allowed a plus one, better find yourself a date man. I'd hate to have to go alone. They suck" Alex leaned back in his chair and sighed tilting his head back. He glanced at Hotch's office door and the idea to ask the older man entered his head, he shook the thought away. They hadn't really spoken properly since the tree house incident unless strictly necessary.   
"I'll find someone" he answered stretching his arms above his head "I have plenty friends who would love an evening out"   
"It can't be Garcea, I'm taking my baby girl" Morgan said grinning.   
"I'm going with Reid" JJ announced and the doctor just smiled at her before going back to his book.  
"I'm taking a friend his names Leon" Emily supplied.  
"Hotch, who are you taking to this gala thing?" JJ asked as their boss walked towards them.  
"Her names Beth" he supplied with a half shrug and Alex looked away. He sat in silence for a few seconds and yanked his phone out of the desk drawer and punched in the numbers, walking away as he did so.  
"Hey gorgeous" he drawled when she picked up.  
"What are you after Alex?" she responded "It can't involve murder. I'm on a cleanse"   
"I need a favour, wait a murder cleanse? " he answered.  
"Supposed to clean the soul or something" she answered "What's the favour?"   
"There's a work event and I need a date" he said then realised he had to sell it to her "I will pay for your dress" he could already feel his wallet getting lighter.   
"Deal" she declared "When is it?"   
"Friday" he answered back and began pacing.  
"Cool. I'll see you Friday morning" she said and hung up on him. Alex frowned at his phone. He had someone to go with but he glanced at Hotch, their eyes met and he snapped his own away. The days leading up to the gala passed quickly and he was still avoiding Hotch while trying to make it look like he wasn't. He was failing miserablely but he would never admit it. They ended up being late to gala by almost twenty minutes as they spent the entire Time in the car arguing about how they were even going to enter the building. Alex was for subtle and quick whereas Cassidy wanted to show off a little. Alex gave up the fight and let her lead the way. They walked in side by side her hand wrapped around his bisep. Their footsteps matched in pace and he raised an eyebrow when he caught people staring at them.   
"I can hear the baddass background music already" she whispered in his ear and he sighed.  
"I worry about you sometimes" he responded looking around for his team and he caught sight of them, mouths slightly agape.   
"Do they not check for guns here?" she asked looking around and Alex sniggered  
"No. It's FBI only. No one has guns on them" he said and froze "You don't"  
"I do" she replied not looking at him.   
"I specifically said. Do not bring a gun" he snapped.  
"Don't get pissy with me it's just a little one" she responded rolling her eyes and they found themselves being beconed over by the team.   
"Alex" Morgan greeted first "You look-"   
"Absolutely smoking" JJ said and he grinned.   
"Thank you, you all don't look too bad yourselves" he responded trying to ignore Cas's hand that was trailing down his back.   
"Who is this lovely lady?" Penelope asked, shaking Cas's other hand.   
"This is Cas" he said with a grin and then her hand stopped to rest just above the top of the slacks he was wearing. Hotch was watching him intently, he looked at the woman on his arm and smiled sweetly "You must be Beth"  
"You must be Alex. I've heard a lot about you" she said and shook his hand. Alex forced himself to keep a smile on his face, he had heard nothing about this woman.   
"She's pretty" Cas mumbled into his ear, he lips brushed the side of his face and she disappeared from next to him, he shook his head. She returned seconds later with two champagne flutes and downed both. He looked at her with wide eyes and sighed again.  
"This was such a bad idea" he whispered shaking his head. The team laughed and she rolled her eyes.   
"You've seen worse. Way worse" she decided and the tune changed "Dance with me?"   
"Isn't it the man who's supposed to ask that?" he supplied crossing his arms over his chest.   
"That is awfully hetro of you" she declared and dragged him away but the collar of his shirt onto the dance floor. She rested her arms on his shoulders and he rested his on her waist and let her lead him in a simple dance around the dance floor.  
"What is with you and Mr 'I never smiled'?" she asked quietly.  
"Nothing, he's my boss" he huffed out she peaked around his shoulder looking at Hotch.  
"He's giving you angry heart eyes" she stated and he scoffed.  
"Shut up" and she laughed as he twirled her out them back into his chest. His eyes shut slightly and he just enjoyed the peace that was around him. Then all hell broke loose. A bald man kicked over the champagne tower and Alex's heart went out to whoever had built it. Those took ages to fill and build.   
"If you want out alive, get against the wall" the man screached. Alex and Cas broke apart and followed everyone else backing up against the wall, they were at the complete other side of the hall to the rest of the BAU. Trained agents and all of them were cowering away from a single man with a glock. One agent stood up but was immediately knocked down by a shot to the chest. Alex flinched and growled.  
"We've got to do something" he hissed at Cas trying to come up with a plan.  
"No plan. Let's do it like old times." she said and he frowned at her. Catching Morgan's head pop up, most likely looking for him. Their eyes met briefly.   
"Head first and zero back up?" he questioned and she grinned at him  
"I do also have a gun" she pointed out he sighed again and nodded letting her go do her thing.  
"Hey asshat!" she shouted at the man strolling forward and pulled the gun from the thigh holster under her dress "Say hello to my lil friend" the gun was slightly bigger than he had expected and then he remembered who she was. The man had rage all over his face and raised the gun at Cas, in a moment of panic Alex darted forward throwing her over his shoulder backwards standing between her and the gunman.  
"Stop saving me" she hissed bringing herself round to stand beside him.   
"No" he hissed back and punched the man square in the mouth. The man reeled back and Cas was bouncing behind him as he continued punching him.   
"Don't let him recover!" she yelled "Keep hitting him!"  
"Cas your not helping" he grunted as they rolled about the floor. A knife was thrown next to his head, he lifted his head looking at her horrified.   
"That wasnt me" she defended. He was kicked in the groin and rolled away groaning. Cas was on the man punching into him, Alex pushed himself to his feet the other man coming at him with another knife. He ducked under a swipe and stepped back twisting his body. Morgan made a move to get up.   
"Stay!" Alex roared at him and the man with the gun had Cas pinned to the floor by her neck and the gun pointed at Morgan. Alex's eyes widened and he kicked out blindly, catching the man's hand sending the gun scittering across the hard floor. Cas scrambled towards it picking the gun up. He pushed himself to his feet and helped Cas to hers. She pressed the gun into his hands. In the moment he forgot that they were supposed to be fighting off two unsubs who had surrounded them one on each side.   
"On my 6" he muttered and they both spun holding the guns out towards them, Alex pulled the trigger and the gun made a pathetic clicking sound in his hands.   
"Having issues?" she asked and he could hear the grin in her voice as their backs pressed closer together, she started cackling manically "Shooting blanks"   
"Now is not the time" he hissed back and threw the gun at the thugs head with alarming accuracy. The man went down squeezing the trigger and bullets tore up the ground at their feet, they both leaped to opposites sides. Alex sliding across the floor tucking his head behind his arms.   
"I'm starting to think you have a thing for guns" she called to him as he wrestled with the shooter who had jumped at him and she punched the other man in the face.   
"Now is not the time" he repeated growling as a punch landed on his ribs. His body tried to curl in on itself.   
"Oh my god, you have a gun kink" she laughed as her hand made impact with the bad guys throat and he went down choking.   
"I do not have a gun kink" he exclaimed his back hitting the floor roughly and the gun was pressed against his skull. Cas kicked the man on the back of the head sending him done in a heap. She helped him up as the two men lay groaning.   
"You have a gun kink" she decided and he opened his mouth to argue back but five more men and a woman stormed into the building.   
"Would you look at that just like old times" she said snapping into a combat position next to him. She looked at his face and saw the mental war the was waging.   
"Gotta stay calm" he mumbled and they were being surrounded. The first man went straight for his face with a knife. He slammed an open hand into his nose feeling it break under the force and ducked under another attack. Cas was currently fighting off two at once.   
"Get off the gun kink and help me" she shouted at him.   
"I don't have a gun kink" he said and knocked other man to the floor huffing air out his nose. He moved around to cover her back from any attacks.  
"I know you really don't want to but I think I could use the help of slightly mad Alex" she groaned out.  
"Absolutely not" he said and glanced at his team "No one needs to see that" he picked up a gun that slid across the floor to him and saw Reid recoiling back into the safety behind Morgan and Emily. Alex swiped it off the floor and started firing, he aimed for arms and legs, nothing that would kill them just hurt a lot.   
"See gun kink" Cas said leaning heavily against him, he wrapped an arm around her and let the guys who were springing to their feet clear away the unsubs from the floor "You never lost your temper"   
"I don't want to scare them" he whispered in her ear "I've already pushed them away enough. I don't need them to be scared of me too" she nodded like she understood, but she didn't not really of course she had seen Alex in all his rage driven and scary glory but she had never been on his side of it, and walked away to get another flute of champagne. He spun around to find Hotch standing there, worry etched into his features.  
"Are you OK?" he asked holding Alex's face in both of his hands, tilting and turning it looking for any signs of damage.   
"I'm fine, Hotch" he said pulling away, he didn't want to he just wanted to stay like that forever.   
"Oi heart eyes" Cas yelled from behind him and he sighed deeply moving away from his boss and turned to look at her.   
"Do you have a knife kink too?" she asked and he looked and her blinking, his mouth hanging open. The door slammed open and Alex way ready to fight again. Daniel stormed towards them and pulled Cas into a hug.   
"Thank god your OK" he sighed. Alex stood back "I was going to come in early but those bastards barricaded the car"   
"Alex" he greeted when he realised who he was looking at.   
"Dan" he responded nodding "You're not going to try kill me are you?"   
"No, now is not the right time. Thanks for keeping her safe" he said and Alex waved his hand.   
"Get outta here, both of you, before people remember you brought a gun to an FBI gala" he said and turned around. They left together and he leaned against a table watching as the last two men were hauled away, he hummed as someone called his name.   
"You alright?" Morgan asked and Alex leaned against him for some form of support. And comfort.   
"Yeah. Fine. I'm going to the bar anyone coming with?" he asked, somehow they all ended up in a booth at the back of a local bar. Hotch was the last to arrive, minus Beth.   
"Where's the eye candy?" Alex asked holding his glass to his chest, stifling a yawn. His shoulders hurt and he couldn't find his suit jacket for the life of him.   
"Beth is away home" he answered sitting down with his own drink.   
"Will you be seeing her again?" Emily asked using her drunkeness to pry into their bosses life. Alex rolled his eyes.   
"I don't think so. No" he said "So who is Cas really?"   
"We served together" Alex answered "And Dan, the asshole with the stupid face. We were all in the same unit. Best of buddies"  
"Never seeing her again?" Morgan asked and Alex laughed.   
"Nah. She's not really my type. Too unpredictable, and she kept accusing me of having a gun kink. Which I don't. I spend too much of my time with guns pointed at me for that to be sexy." he answered his eyes flickering to Hotch's face. He worked his way through what he thought was about 80% of the bar before they all decided to go home. He walked down the streets, after denying a cab about 10 times, on autopilot towards his house at some point he must have taken a wrong turn as he found himself outside Hotch's house, knocking on the wooden door before his slightly drunk brain could even catch up with him.  
"Alex." Hotch said opening the door. He had taken off his jacket and bow tie and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.   
"Fuck. I fucked up" Alex murmered then realised things probably couldn't get much worse and he already had a prewritten resignation letter hidden in his desk. He reached forward and pulled the man to him messily smashing their mouths together. Hotch's hand found his shoulder yanking him in the front door slamming it shut behind him. Alex pulled away breathing harshly.   
"You're not yelling at me?" he asked slightly concerned.  
"No. I'm not" he said "I did wonder if bringing Beth to the gala would get you jealous enough to act. Clearly I was right"   
"You were trying to make me jealous? " he said between kisses.   
"Well not as much jealous more trying to get you to talk to me again" Hotch corrected pushing him against the door. Alex hummed against his lips.   
"Sorry about that. I didn't know if you were mad at me" he said tugging his fingers through Hotch's hair.   
"Why would I be mad?" Hotch asked his mouth moving to Alex's throat.   
"Cause we kissed" Alex replied dumbly.  
"I wasn't mad just worried. We are breaking so many rules doing this again." Hotch said  
"No one has to know" Alex murmed against the man's lips. Hotch laughed slightly and kissed him again. Alex knocked his head back letting the man have access to his throat and worked on unbuttoning the rest of the older man's shirt. Hotch locked the front door behind him and pushed him through to his bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT AHEAD!  
> THIS HAS BEEN YOUR WARNING

Hotch was pushing his chest directing him into his bedroom, his bosses fingers undoing the buttons on the dress shirt easily.   
"I wouldn't have minded if you'd ripped it" he gasped out as thumbs stroked across his skin. Hotch never said a word just continued touching him like he was trying to commit the skin to memory. Alex shoved the older man knocking him down onto the bed before scrambling to press their mouths together again. Pressing all his weight onto his hands and hips.   
"Alex" Hotch moaned out when he ground their crotches together. Alex moved to Hotch's neck nipping at the skin earing him a buck of the older man's hips. "We should probably talk about this before"  
"After. We can talk after cause right now I need you. I need you Hotch" Alex panted against the skin nipping again. Hotch's fingers dug into his skin and he found himself looking up at the man instead of down and blinked at the sudden change. His neck getting the same treatment but slightly rougher. Hands were on his belt and his slacks were yanked down his legs boxers included. Hotch hauled himself off the younger man and began riffling through the bedside cabinet drawers, Alex just lay and breathed his brain suppling all sorts of negative messages.   
"What are you looking for?" Alex breathed and turned his head to watch the man's muscles move under the older man's skin.   
"Condom. I had one in here I'm sure of it" he answered, Alex raised an eyebrow but the corner of his mouth quirked up.   
"There's one in my wallet, behind my credit card" Alex said flopping back onto the pillows. Hotch dug through the pockets of his trousers and went to hand him the wallet but Alex waved a hand "Hotch your about to rail me into your mattress I'm sure you can look in my wallet" Hotch's breath caught in his throat but he sniggered slightly and took out the foil package. He tore it open and kicked his own slacks off leaving Alex to stare at all of him, the younger man grinned and whistled lowly.  
"Enjoying the view?" Hotch snarked and Alex grin widened.   
"If someone had shared what you were hiding under that suit earlier I might have jumped you sooner" he answered and the older man rolled the condom on and climbed back over the younger agent, Alex stroked his hands up his ribs and over his chest.   
"Speak for yourself. The amount of times I've thought about you, in my office, the SUV, evidence room. Everywhere. You are so gorgeous" Hotch breathed above him. Alex flushed red and smiled back up at him. Hotch rocked their hips together.   
"Fuck" Alex breathed and the man above him smirked.   
"Are you sure?" he asked and Alex wrapped his hand around the back of hotchs neck pulling him down to meet him half way. Alex breathed against his bosses lips.  
"Yes"  
Hotch lined himself up and pushed himself in to the hilt. Alex moaned against his mouth and wrapping his legs around the man's waist digging his fingers into the skin. Hotch looked at him for a moment before hepulled out almost completely before slamming back into him, Alex whined and captured his lips again. Breathing harshly as their hips met over and over again. Alex shifted his own hips slightly and saw starts for a second and almost inaudible cursed where spewing from his lips. Hotch laced their fingers together and used it to hold Alex's hands against the bed. Alex whined tightening his grip on the man's hands.   
"Hotch I'm close. Please" he didn't even know what we was begging for but it seemed to get a reaction out of the older man as his thrusts spead up and own grip tightened. Alex tried to make a joke but Hotch shifted his hips slightly and his legs were tightening and he was howling Hotch's name into the bedroom. Hotch was right behind him filling the latex as he groaned Alex's name into his throat where his head had dropped. They lay like that catching their breath for what felt like eternity until the older man detangled himself rolling off and tieing the condom throwing it in the trash and then dropped back onto the bed next to Alex who snuggled in closer, the sweat on his skin still drying.   
"You OK?" he asked and Alex hummed an afirmitive against his skin his eyes already sliding shut. Hotch held the younger agent close enjoying the peace and the warm radiating off him.   
Alex woke up alone in Hotch's bedroom, in Hotch's bed, pain flaring behind his eyes and in his hips, he glanced around the room with no sign of the older man or his clothes from the night before, his clothes had been folded over the footboard of the bed. He fought down the twinge of pain in his heart and threw the suit back on collecting the last of his things. He looked around the apartment with still no sign of the man and bit his lips nodding to himself, he swallowed and went to leave but paused for a moment going back to his bosses bedroom carefully making making the bed and then left Hotch's apartment heading to his own. Regretting the decisions he had made.


	12. Chapter 12

Days past and they never spoke about what happened. Not due to lack of trying, Hotch would send him text after text trying to get his attention or try and corner him but Alex ran away at all turns, in the end Hotch put on his boss face and Alex put on the 'I'm not talking to you about anything other than work" face. It was working for them. Alex stepped out the lift and looked around realising none of his coworkers were there, he checked the time on his phone and nodded to himself, he was definitely late but they wouldn't have went anywhere without him. He strolled past the conference room, half glancing in as he did, a photo of him caught his eye. He stopped, took a few steps back and his eyes widened. The cork board was covered in photos varying in content but they all had him in them. He burst through the door and all heads shot towards him.   
"What the actual fuck is going on?" he asked in mild panic. Eyes flickering across all the photos, they ranged from him and Kelly, him and the team, his proposal, at his mother's house, him by himself at home and outside and him a various states of undress. Hotch was moving towards him with his hands out in surrender speaking softly but Alex's temper had already spiked beyond return and he started shouting, Hotch was shoved back into the wall with a painful sounding thump in the process of the meltdown. It was Morgan that tackled him pinning him chest first to the floor with his hand flat against Alex's back and holding one arm while the other was pinned under him as he tried to lash out again. It took him close to 20 minutes to fully calm back down and Morgan to even begin to release the hold that he had on him, letting Alex relax against the floor taking deep heaving breaths.  
"That's it kid, in and out" Morgan coaxed above him gently "Just breath" a strong hand was rubbing the slight ache away from between his shoulders, where Morgans had just had a hand pinning him down.  
"What's going on?" he croaked out, his head resting against the carpet under them, pressing his cheek into the fibers.   
"The envelopes were sent in this morning. All of them contained photos of you in some way, shape or form. Hotch went through them first and took out the ones that lacked clothing or were in compromising positions" Reid said from somewhere above him. At the mention of Hotch Alex vaguely remembered shoving the man, hard.  
"Hotch" Alex called from the floor still making no move to get up, the older man crouched into his line of sight "Sorry for the attack. Sorry for hurting you"  
"You just caught me off guard" Hotch soothed "There's no harm done" and Alex nodded still feeling bad. Sure things had been awkward but they were still friends.   
"Can I get up now?" he asked. Morgan looked to Hotch and the older man nodded. Morgan helped Alex back to his feet and the man looked back at the photos. "Who took them?"   
"We don't know" Emily said "There's no return address, no note or anything. And none of them look like the ones that we have taken of you or with you"  
"How many?" he asked picking up a stack of post it notes.   
"On the board about 55" Hotch said "The not suitable ones are in the envelope, there's about another 40 in it" Alex picked a pen off the table and started writing rough dates and locations sticking them to the photos with shakey hands. He stood like that for a while, his whole body vibrating with nerves and worry.   
"That's all the ones I can remember" he said and stood back. Their week continued like this, manilla envelopes landing on one of their desks with his name sprawled across it and Alex going through it taking the 'NSFW' photos as Garcea had dubbed them out and putting dates on the rest to try and work out if there was any form of connection between either the content or the timing. It's seemed like the only thing they had was him. Alex scrubbed a hand over his face, his back still aching slightly and sighed shaking his hand out.   
"Yo. Alex hear me out before you lose your cool. Again." Morgan started and the rest of the team perked up "There was another envelope sent in, I didn't realise what it was, whoever doing this had changed their MO. But there was more photos in it of you in an uh compromising position with a friend?" Morgan said handing the white smaller envelope over, Alex turned it in his hands, his heart thumping against his chest   
"Who's in it?" he asked and Morgan winced. "Who is in the photos Derek?"  
"Hotch. At least it looks like Hotch, it's probably not but there's a striking resemblance" he answered. Alex's heart sank. He yanked the photos out of the envelope and looked through them almost breathing a sigh of relief. It's wasn't as compromising at he thought.  
"It's not" he breathed, the team took it as him saying it wasn't their boss in the photos.   
"Do you have any idea when these were taken?" JJ asked leaning over his shoulder "I mean I can't imagine you spend much time on Hotch's lap" it was a jibe to try cheer him up but Alex tensed further, and gripped the photos, marching up the steps to Hotch's office.  
"They've changed their MO, different envelope, no name. All the photos are from the same event and You're in them too" he hissed throwing them down on the desk. Hotch calmly picked them up and thumbed through them.  
"They could've been worse" Hotch pointed out but the younger man was too busy working himself into a panic.  
"You're right Hotch. We've slept together! Whoever this is probably had photos of that too." Alex almost yelled "Then what? The team get to look at those as well. They find out about your dirty little secret" It had left his mouth before he even thought about it fully.   
"My dirty little secret? Both of us would be in those photos. If they do exist. It takes two to tango Alex" Hotch growled back.  
"Yeah and that tango was probably the biggest mistake of your life. I can't say I blame you cause I know it was a mistake and I know you regretted it immediately, that's why you left in the morning because you knew I would too. I'm not stupid Hotch" Alex growled back "This whole thing between us was a mistake. It never should have happened"  
He turned on his heel to leave the office but Hotch was already on his feet trying to at least slow him down. Alex shrugged the hand off and thumped down the steps, picking up his jacket as he passed the desk. His hands were shaking again.   
"I'm going home" he started "I'll be back in Glencoe by tonight. Phone me when you figure this out"  
He marched himself out of the building, getting a taxi back to his apartment. He started throwing clothes in his bag that would last a couple days and was booking a last minute ticket home. His phone buzzed next to him as he sat down on the concrete stairs waiting for the uber.  
MORGAN- 'what did you say to Hotch man? He's just launched something across his office.'   
Alex ignored the text and the others checking on him that followed as he got in the uber to catch his flight.  
Hotch -'We need to talk. Call me when you land?'  
Hotch- 'You're being childish Alex. Running away won't fix anything, I've been trying to talk to you about that night for days and you've been avoiding me'   
Hotch- 'That was unprofessional of me. However ignoring your texts is childish. Answer your phone.'   
17 missed calls from Hotch   
Hotch- 'where are you?'

Even as days passed Hotch had been angry not at Alex but himself. He should've pressed the conversation not avoided it. They were both to blame.   
"Are you OK?" Morgan asked it almost fell onto deaf ears "We think we might have something"  
Hotch followed him to the board. Photos were spayed across it grouped into locations. SCOTLAND and USA.   
"I think we are looking for an ex. It would make logical sense as the unsub knows where he lives, where he works and his mother's house" Reid supplied. Hotch nodded and opened his mouth to ask about suspects but his phone rang. He fished it out of his pants, looking at the number, it was an international call and his hopes spiked.  
"Agent Hotchner" he greeted trying to keep his voice even. Trying not to show the hope that was building inside of him.   
"Oh thank god I got a hold of you Aaron. I've tried every number but no one would forward me through to you." a Scottish voice flowed through the speaker. A feminine Scottish voice.  
"Fiona?" he asked realising who was talking "Is everything OK?"  
"Ah well I actually don't know. Is Alex there with you?" she asked. Hotch's heart stopped.  
"No. He said he was coming to you" Hotch ground out.  
"Yeah. But he never arrived. I thought that maybe he had gotten roped into a new case or decided to stay with you for safety but I haven't heard anything from him in a couple of days. I probably should've called when he never showed up but he's a grown man. He would've phoned to say where he was and I can't get in touch with him" the woman explained then her voice faltered "Wheres my son?"  
Hotch looked at his team but he didn't have an answer. He tried unsuccessfully to calm the hysterical woman down.  
"I need all CCTV that he could've passed. We have to find him." Hotch directed and the team split up following any lead that the could find. While Hotch was on the phone to Alex's mother trying to find out as much information as possible about friends or ex's, anyone that would know this much about him.   
"He never really brought anyone home, unless he really really liked them. The only ones I met that he well and truly cared about were Kelly and you" she had said.   
"Hotch. We've got something" Emily said and he followed her to watch the screen. Alex looked like he'd just gotten off the plane and was making his way to the taxi rink out front but a woman dressed very professionally stopped him and they seemed to talk about something for a few minutes and they left together. Hotch frowned.  
"So he's went with a female friend?" he asked "And is just ignoring his phone?" he was angry this time at the younger man.   
"No Hotch look" JJ said and pointed to a few pixels inbetween them. A small knife was being pressed into his back and he was being forced to walk with her. The anger faded but was immediately replaced with worry.  
"I shouldn't have let him go" he sighed and shook his head. "Get Garcea to run some form of facial recognition on her and tell her to get back to us ASAP. We need to find her soon. Before she causes any damage. Wheels up in ten"   
They had just boarded the plane when Hotch's phone rang. Alex's contact flashed onto the screen.  
"Alex?" he answered dropping his bag onto his chair, everyones else shooting up to look at him.   
"No, he's busy" a female voice answered "Who are you?"  
"As my contact name says I'm his boss" Hotch answered " But I'm sure we could discuss the logistics of it in person"  
"Your name just says Hotch. It's the texts that confuse me. For his boss you sure text him a lot. What did you need to talk about that was so important?" she said and he could hear a noise in the background. "Quiet you or its the knees next" the noise panned out to a small whimper and the call went dead. Hotch looked at the screen.   
"We have to find them" he said. Fear settling into his chest.  
"Garcea has sent us her name and last known address maybe that will give us a lead." Morgan said and Hotch nodded cursing himself for even letting Alex leave. The journey took too long in everyone's eyes, they didn't know what was happening to their friend while they were just sitting around. Hotch had rented an SUV and broke every speed limit all the way to the address they had been supplied. It was roughly an hour away from Alex's mother's house. The man that answered the door turned out to be their unsubs father but he seemed overly enthusiastic about sending them to her location, calling her every name under the sun. Their unsub had a small hut the used to be a scout hut that she rented to renovate but never got around to it. They raced to the building the SUV skidding on wet mud and could see faint lights shining through the windows.  
"Karen Donaldson this is the FBI. Open up" Hotch shouted through the door. A loud thud echoed out followed by a muffled whine and female grumbling. Morgan's foot connected with the door and it swung open. Alex was tied to a chair in the middle of the room his head tilted back and a tight leather dog collar was around his throat keeping him there with a bit rope attached to the chair. Karen was standing with knife just under the heavy leather band, resting against the skin.  
"Karen step away from him" Morgan demanded  
"No he loves me, he just doesn't understand it yet" she screached and Alex let out a pitiful whine.   
"No he doesn't. Just let him go" Reid said edging forward.  
"He loves me!" she screamed Alex visibly jerked away from the noise and whimpered.  
"I'm sure he did at one point. But not anymore. He loves someone else now. You've got to let him go" Hotch tried to stay calm but the knife was pressing deeper into Alex's skin, a rivulet of blood escaping from under it. Hotch made a split decision and leaped forward knocking the woman off her feet. Morgan was right behind him with handcuffs. She was dragged out of the hut screaming for Alex and cursing all of them. Hotch unbuckled the collar dropping it, leaving it dangling against the back of the chair and touched Alex's throat feeling for a pulse, it thumped against his fingers but it was sluggish. Hotch took the brunt of the agents weight when he slumped forward as Morgan cut the ropes from his hands. Alex's head lolled forwards against his vest. They lay him out on the floor noticing the dried blood on the hardwood. His face and hair was coated with blood as were his hands and it was still leaking from a cut on the side of his head onto Hotch's shirt as well as the newer one on his throat, Alex's shirt was ripped in multiple places as were his jeans and it looked like he had tried to put up a struggle.   
"Agent Riley. Alex. Open your eyes for me" Hotch demended and the man looked like he put a considerable amount of effort into the action but couldn't quite get there. "Please Alex. Come on, open your eyes for me" his voice was wavering and Emily was calling an ambulance, shouting down the phone at them.   
"Alex please. Come on for me"  
"Hotch?" It came out quiet and broken, like it was paining him to try even speak.   
"Yes. Yeah I'm here" Hotch answered back cupping his face "Come on keep your eyes open, we still have to have that talk"   
"I'm sorry" and his breathing slowed to a stop.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do feel free to leave a comment and lemme know what you think :)

Hotch had started CPR by the time the paramedics arrived, trying to ignore the statistic that CPR only worked 7% of the time as it rattled about in his head. The first paramedic pushed Hotch away and were loading him onto a stretcher and ripping his shirt the rest of the way open. Hotch could only watch from the floor. Alex's hand was hanging off the edge of the stretcher, it looked odd, like it wasn't sitting correctly.   
"Clear" one of the called and the defibrillator was pressed against his chest, Alex's body arched but went limp again. They repeated it twice, the final time he dragged in a ragged breath and was loaded into the back of the ambulance. Monitors and needles being jabbed into his skin.   
He was in the operating theatre for 5 hours and flatlining twice but they dragged him back both times. They sat in the waiting room, blood stained on Hotch's shirt. Fiona sat next to him, their hands clutched together as she cried into his shoulder. Hotch had his other arm wrapped around her as he watched for any sign of a Doctor. It felt like years before they finally got news.   
"Family of Alexander Riley?" he called and the BAU and his mother all stood up. "Uh are you all family?"  
"Yes, he's my son. " Fiona said clutching Hotch's arm tightly. The doctor led them to a room away from the noise of the rest of the hospital.   
"He gave us quite a hard time for a while there" the doctor said as they looked through the window, Alex's skin was pale against the white of the room bandages covered large portions of his torso, some had blood stains on them "It was almost like he didn't want to come back. Everything going well, he should wake up soon, however, don't panic if he doesn't. His body has been through so much stress that it may need extra time"   
They entered the room, Fiona dropped into the chair beside the bed and Hotch stood over her, the rest of the team spread themselves out on the floor at the opposite end of the bed. Alex's eyes were closed as they watched the steady rise and fall of his chest and the steady beep of the monitor next to his head. His face was pale, there was stitches just under his jaw and on his head and there was bandages round his chest and a cast around his left wrist.  
"You should never have to sit next to your child in a hospital bed. Not like this" Fiona whispered, holding his hand using her other one to brush away stray strands of hair that were resting on his forehead, Hotch rubbed her shoulder gently but he agreed. 

Alex blinked, he was sitting in the bullpen but instead of his computer, a heart monitor was in front of him beeping steadily. He went to push a button but a voice startled him.   
"Somethings never changed" Alex spun round and gasped "Honestly, they could show you a big red button stating not to push it but you would anyways"   
"Dad" he whispered standing up from the chair, the bandages pulling at his chest.   
"Hello Megan" he said "Well I heard you prefer Alex these days" tears welled up in Alex's eyes and he nodded. He didn't even care about being dead named.   
"I'm dead?" he asked wringing his fingers his mind flashing to the team.   
"No baby. Just in your head" his father answered and Alex gave up all self control launching himself forward and hugging him. His father laughed and rested his chin on top of Alex's head.   
"Hows your mum? And the rest of the kids?" he asked and Alex smiled.   
"Mum's OK I think. She's probably going to flip when she finds out that I got hurt this bad. Everyone else is OK too, Kieran's a dad" he answered refusing to let go.   
"So I'm a grandad now" he said with a laugh. "I knew it was gonna be him first"   
"I don't know if I should be offended or not" Alex said titling his head.   
"No. I'm so proud of you Alex, you've come so far" his father answered and he smiled, tears threatening to spill.   
"I miss you" he said "I'm sorry"   
"What on earth are you sorry for?" his father asked leaning back to look at him.   
"That you died" Alex whispered and hands were on his face.   
"Oh no. Alex. That wasn't your fault. None of that was your fault" he said and the beeping from the monitor was louder "Alex. It's almost time for you to go"   
"What? No" Alex said pulling away slightly "I don't wanna go. I've just got you back"   
"Your friends need you. They are waiting for you" his father responded "I'm proud of you"   
"Please dad, don't go" he begged but the man was already fading away. Alex dropped his head and closed his eyes, when he reopened them the room around him was white. He blinked again and groaned.   
"Sleeping beauty finally awakes" he recognised Morgan's voice and the slap that followed and tried to laugh but his throat hurt.   
"How do you feel baby?" his mother asked and he smiled at her lip respliting. He stuck his tongue out licking away the blood.   
"Mum" he mumbled gripping her hand tighter and tried to lift his head "My heads heavy. Are heads always this heavy?" he grumbled. Gentle laughter echoed around the room and he smiled softly again turning his head to look at his mother but the man behind him caught his attention.   
"Hotch? You're here?" he asked blinking.   
"Of course I am" Hotch answered and reached out to take his hand, Hotch gripped it back and tried for a smile.   
"I'm sorry" Alex said "For being an asshole. I get why you were pissed at me" his throat ached as he spoke but he really had to get it out.   
"I was never mad at you or disappointed" Hotch stated calmly "You were under a lot of stress. I didn't help, I should've been there to talk to but I wasn't. I'm sorry"  
"Was never your fault" Alex mumbled drifting back into sleep. Fiona let out a small sob. Hotch rubbed her shoulder with his other hand and watched the man breathing again as if him looking away would cause it to stop. He slowly released Alex's hand from his own.   
"Fiona, go home and get some rest. I'll stay here and look after him" Hotch said gently.   
"I can't just leave him" she responded sounding insulted.   
"You're not leaving him. You're going home and getting some rest, the team will go with you. Let us help" he said and it took further coercing to get her out the room and into the waiting car. Hotch and Morgan stayed watching over the younger agent.  
"What's going on between you two?" Morgan asked making himself comfortable on the plastic seat next to his boss.   
"Nothing" Hotch responded watching the rise and fall of the younger man's chest.   
"I don't know if I want to find out the damage" Morgan sighed and Hotch agreed but they needed to information to press charges. The doctor went to walk passed again but Morgan grabbed him, Hotch didn't have the stomach to ask.  
"What's the damage doc?" he asked and Hotch had his arms crossed across his chest almost as if to protect himself from the information.  
"A mild concussion, several fractured ribs, a broken wrist, tissue damage in his hip, leg and shoulder and minor laserations across the entirely of his body" the doctor said holding his clipboard out. Both of the agents shoulders dropped slightly "There is one more thing, clearly the persom that did this tried to carve her name into his lower abdomin, we tried to hide it with the stitches but it's a matter of how it heals to show if it will be viable or not."  
They nodded and went back to watching their friend. Hotch reached out and held his hand again.   
"This is my fault" Hotch grumbled. Morgan rubbed his shoulder and tried to comfort his boss.  
"No it's not. Alex is Alex when he gets a thought in that head of his he has to follow it through. No one can stop him, not even you. I don't think an army could stop him" he said "I don't know exactly what has been going on between you and him recently but I know you. And I know him" Hotch nodded stroking over the younger agents knuckles with his thumb gently. They sat with him until he woke up again.   
Alex was cleared to go home after a couple of days with an extensive care list and seriously strong pain killers. He was ready just to go home with the team but everyone decided it would be better for him to stay in Scotland with his mum until he could at least stand on his own. Alex had reluctantly agreed. Hotch was the one who bit the bullet and offered to take him to his mother house instead of going to the plane with everyone else. The car ride had been silent, Alex not wanting to dig his hole any deeper and Hotch not wanting to upset the man anymore than he already had been, Fiona had been waiting outside at the front door watching the car as it pulled into the drive.  
"Alex. When you're feeling better, can we talk?" the younger agent snorted a laugh "I mean it. We need to talk about what happened. No more hiding. No more running away from this."  
"Sure Hotch. I'll text you when I'm ready to talk" Alex said and hauled himself out the car with a pained gasp. His hand wrapping around his chest.   
"Wait, let me help" Hotch said unbuckling himself to get out. Alex denied his offer numerous times yet he still ended up leaning against the older man shuffling towards his mother trying to move his legs as little as possible. He rather roughly dropped himself onto the sofa with a grunt.   
"I mean it Alex. I want to talk" Hotch reiterated standing over him.   
"I know" he took a deep breath "I do too" Hotch leaned down and hugged him gently before bidding them both goodbye and heading home. Alex spent most of the next two weeks sitting in that same spot until he decided that he wanted a shower. He tried to stand up but yelped when his leg gave way and he crashed back down.   
"What are you doing? Stay still" his mother scolded and he sighed.  
"I just want a shower" he said rubbing his lower back. She helped him to his feet supporting his weight, she helped him shuffle to the downstairs shower and turned it on for him.   
"Are you sure you don't need my help?" she asked hovering over him.   
"I'll be fine mum. I'll shout if anything goes horribly wrong" he said and she left the room leaving the door slightly ajar. He took a deep breath and slowly pulled his shirt over his head groaning at the pain that shot down his body. He dropped the material to the floor and worked on getting the jogging bottoms off, he looked down at the stitches just above the waist band of his boxers and could make out the 'K' and the 'N' he closed his eyes still seeing her face in the dark and used the wall to balance under the water letting his wash away the hurt and the feeling of blood from his skin, in reality there was no blood physically on him but he could still feel the stickiness and he could still smell the copper. He carefully kept one arm out the curtain so that the cast on his wrist never got soaked too. As soon as Alex could at least hold his weight for longer than a few seconds and the cast was off his wrist. He had booked himself a flight home and sent a text to Hotch to let him know that he was on his way home, not that he expecting anything from him, they hadn't really spoken much, other than a text every couple of days to check on him and the one or two phone calls, over his impromptu time off. He fell asleep on the plane only being awoken by a stewardess when they landed. He was hauling his bag behind him through customs and through the building to the taxi rink. The bag was balanced on his good shoulder, and he was trying to avoid putting it on his right one. The escalator took him down the last floor and a very familiar man was standing looking up at him.  
"Agent Hotchner" he greeted trying for a smile but his face still hurt.   
"Alex. Let me take the bag from you" Hotch offered but took the bag not caring about Alex's answer. Hefting it over his own shoulders and offering the younger agent an arm. Alex stomped down the warmth that flooded his chest and took it the entire walk to the car. They walked slowly, the older man seemed ready to catch him at any given moment. Hotch bundled him into the passenger side, they drove in silence.  
"You hungry?" Hotch asked. Alex shook his head. "How about a coffee?" and he hesitated.   
"Actually a coffee sounds good, mum put me on a caffeine ban" he answered and Hotch went through a drive thru ordering for him "You remember what coffee I liked?" surprise was written all over his face as well as something that looked a lot like love.   
"Of course I do" he answered taking the cups from the server putting them in the cup holder between them "Do you want to talk?"  
"About?" he asked in return partially playing dumb, picking out his own cup.   
"Us. Alex. What happened between us" Alex's heart dropped and he nodded. He had been waiting on this chat for a while, he swallowed and took a deep breath.  
"It's alright. I understand, I really screwed up" Alex stated running his finger over the lid of the cup "I never should have kissed you or come to your house, especially not drunk. It was unprofessional"   
"Alex, I like you" Hotch stated but Alex was too busy falling down the rabbit hole of rejection, he gripped the younger man's face gently to get his attention when he realised that he wasn't listening "I don't regret what we did, any of it"  
"Wait you don't?" Alex asked looking into his eyes, searching for any sign of deceit. Any sign of a lie"You really don't?" Alex was still peering at him narrowing his eyes.   
"No I don't. It would have been better if we had talked about it first before hand but we can't go back and redo it. No matter how much I wanted to" Hotch said running his thumb over the scar under Alex's eye "I wish I could go back and make it better and not have caused so much hurt"   
"Wait you actually like me?" Alex asked and Hotch nodded.  
"I'm being serious" Hotch said then paused "And I'd like to take you out maybe for dinner or something"  
"Are you asking me on a date?" he asked "I thought it was against regulations" Hotch laughed and shrugged.  
"I'm not very good at it but yes I am. They are more of a guideline than the law" he said and Alex grinned, Hotch could feel the facial muscles under his skin move under his palm.   
"I'd love to" he smiled his heart fluttered. Alex rested his hand over the older man and ran his thumb over the back of his fingers.   
"The night we slept together. I thought you'd ran away in the morning" he said looking away from the brown eyes that were boring into him.   
"I had ran technically. I took up running a couple weeks previous and had went for my morning run and when I got home your were gone. And then you weren't talking to me" Hotch stated and Alex sniggered.   
"I honestly thought you just wanted away from me. I woke up alone and I had no idea where you had gone" Alex said honestly and shrugged "That day made was the worst that I'd had in a long time. It was the first day that I felt truly alone, I didn't have Kelly or you and I couldn't tell the team without telling them we had slept together. I had no one to talk to cause the only person that I could was the cause and I was in a place so far away from home with no one. I drank most of that weekend to get out of my own head."  
"Alex I'm sorry. I should've said something" Hotch said and Alex shrugged again. Part of his brain told him to stop because everytime he moved his shoulders pain shot through them.  
"I think we are both equally to blame. I shouldn't have run away when you tried to talk to me" he responded and smiled softly. Hotch smiled back and began driving running a thumb over his knuckles.  
"I shouldn't have either" he answered.


	14. Chapter 14

Psych Eval. As soon as the words left Hotch's mouth Alex was frowning.   
"It's just a precaution" Hotch had ensured him over the phone and Alex had let out an audible sigh. Hotch had set the date for the following Friday and promised to take him out on the date that he had invited him to afterwards.   
The morning of the offending Eval Alex hauled himself out of bed, showering, shaving and dressing in record time. He moved on autopilot until he had to leave. Doctor Murphy had met him in the foyer and taken him up to a meeting room. All these rooms looked the same, Alex glanced around and had three possible exit stratagies by the time she had sat opposite him.   
"Agent Riley, how's your pain?" she asked. He nawed his lip.  
"It isn't as bad as it was, still slight pains in my shoulder and hip but it'll fade" he answered she noted something down. She had angled her notepad so he couldn't read it upside down.   
"Right. So it is common in situations like this for agents to feel some resentment towards their teams for not saving them quick enough or for letting them get into these situations. What is your thoughts on this?" she asked and Alex gawked at her.  
"My team are my family. I don't blame them for anything. They got me out of there. They saved me" he answered, she fired questions at him for close to an hour taking notes as he answered, he was still trying to read what she was writing but everytime he almost got it she shifted position.   
"Please take this sheet to your unit chief and inform them that you are cleared for active duty" she said signing the bottom of a pre-printed sheet of paper and he took it from her with shaking hands. A stress tremor, at least that's what the doctor had called it, he shook his hands out as left the room heading up to his own floor. He had already been told by multiple people that he wasn't getting his hands on a gun until the tremor had disappeared or at least that he could prove that he could still shoot straight. He walked past the team smiling at them as he did so and walked up the steps to Hotch's office, he hadn't lied about the pain but steps were still tricky, he wrapped his hand around the railing and used it to pull himself up, he could feel eyes on him but ignored them. He knocked before entering the office.  
"Come in" he called and Alex poked his head into the room. His body followed his head and he shakely handed the paperwork over. Frowning at his own hands.   
"She said I'm clear to go" he said smiling gently. Hotch read over the forms then signed at the bottom of the last one.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked finally looking up at the man. Alex smiled softly and his hand brushed over his pockets.  
"I'm OK. Stairs were tricky but I'll get there. Eventually" he answered. Hotch pushed the paper into the pile to go to HR, and looked at the younger man.  
"If you're sure that you're OK, I believe that I said I'd take you on that date after you had done your psych Eval" Hotch said looking at him.  
"You don't have to" he said and Hotch scoffed.  
"Yes I do." he said "Unless of course you've changed your mind"  
"No. I haven't changed my mind. You just probably have a lot of work to do Hotch" he said a tilted his head slightly.  
"Aaron" he said and Alex frowned at him. "I'm sure you can call me Aaron now" a grin took over Alex's face.  
"First name basis. I feel special" he laughed and Hotch shook his head rolling his eyes. "I hope it's nothing fancy cause I'm not exactly dressed to the nines" Alex said gesturing down at himself. His shirt was one of his more worn comfortable ones and his jeans were looser than he would normally wear. Hotch stood up tucking the last of the paperwork away. Alex hummed as Hotch lead the way back to the stairs, the older agent took Alex's arm wrapping it around his neck in order to help him down the steps slowly. Hotch would occasionally take the full brunt of his weight when pain shot through his hip up to his side. Alex took his arm back as they got to the bottom heading towards the lift.  
"Call me if you need me" Hotch called as the doors shut leaving no room for questions. He was in Hotch's car and the man had already arranged for someone to move his car to his apartment while they were gone.  
"Do you remember when I said not fancy?" he asked glancing around and Hotch just raised his eyebrows "This is fancy. I don't fit in" the older man laughed.  
"You look fine" Hotch said and Alex gave him a look.   
"You're fine. You live in suits." Alex pointed out and as the food was placed in front of them, Alex waited for Hotch to start before he picked up the fork and stabbed at the noodles on the plate.   
"Let me rephrase" Hotch said after swallowing "You look amazing. You don't need to dress to societies norms"   
"You don't look too bad yourself" Alex responded, warmth coated his face and he smiled softly. Alex bumped his leg against the older man's and tried to fight the blush away. Their conversation flowed easily between them Hotch watched the younger man for a few seconds, the artificial lights reflecting in his blue eyes.   
"Gorgeous" the older agent breathed and Alex tilted his head and smiled. "You are gorgeous" Alex huffed out a laugh and his smile widened.   
"Yeah? I think you're gorgeous too" he whispered. His hand reaching out to touch the other man's. The check came and Hotch insisted on paying, not even entertaining the idea of Alex taking out his card to split the bill. Alex found himself back in Hotch's car his fingers tangled with the older man's. It felt normal. It felt right. A phone ringing brought him out of his own head.   
"Hotchner" the man greeted and nodded as whoever was on the other end of the line spoke "I'll be there in 20"  
"Case" was all that left Alex's mouth  
"Case" Hotch sighed in return "Are you coming with us?" Alex smiled.   
"I'm technically not back for another few days" Alex stated "I wouldn't want you to get into trouble with the big bosses for bringing me on a case with you"   
"Are you following orders Alexander Riley?" Hotch asked with a comical gasp.   
"I know. I surprise myself sometimes" Alex nodded and Hotch drove him home. Alex wasn't expecting anything when they pulled into the parking lot. "Thank you, I really enjoyed this" he turned in the seat to smile at Hotch.  
"Me too. We probably should've done this before, that" Hotch smiled and Alex laughed getting ready to climb out the car. "Alex" the man turned around to his name, fingers pressed into his jaw and warm lips were on his. Alex made a startled noise but kissed him back enthusiastically.   
"You have to go" Alex mumbled against the older man's lips "Aaron you have a case you have to go"   
"I know" he mumbled. Their mouths together again. He groaned as he pulled away. "I'll see you when I get back?"   
"Of course" Alex mumbled and climbed out the car waving as Hotch drove off. Alex found the stairs easier as he made his way into his apartment. Hours later his phone was ringing against the counter top, he was going to ignore it but instead picked it.   
"Riley" he greeted, holding the phone against his shoulder with his ear.   
"Hey" a familiar gruff voice came out the speaker. Alex shivered.   
"Did you miss me that much that you had to call?" he asked and even Hotch could hear the grin.   
"I did. I do" Hotch said and Alex heard him shifting around. Alex huffed a laugh "Have you eaten since our date?" Alex froze, would Aaron be mad if he had? Would he be mad if he hadn't? The call of his name again tore him out of his thoughts.  
"I have not" he said carefully.   
"You should eat something" Hotch said gently. Alex froze again, his heart thumping. There was no anger in the tone.   
"I will" he whispered. He heard shifting again.   
"Alex, are you OK?" Hotch asked and Alex didn't know what to do. His heart was thumping in his chest and ringing filled his ears.   
"I'm OK" he whispered. He could hear Hotch's voice as he slid down the wall. He cleared his throat "I'm OK. I'm OK."  
"Are you sure?" Hotch asked worry was evident in his voice. Alex rubbed his face.   
"Yeah I don't know what that was." he let out a laugh. Hotch's voice was still worried as they spoke. "Tell me about the case?"   
"Alex" Hotch warned and he laughed again.   
"Come on, tell me whats happening?" he said holding his phone tighter "I just wanna hear your voice. It doesn't need to be about the case" Hotch huffed on the other end.   
"Reid fell down a hill" came the voice and Alex laughed.   
"Why am I not surprised" Alex said pushing himself to his feet "Is he OK?"  
"Some minor bruises, he'll be fine" Hotch retorted. Alex laughed and watched his hand, it shook where it was rested against the counter top.   
"I should let you sleep. You've got a job to do. Unlike me"   
"You still have a job. You are just on leave" Hotch pointed out "But you're probably right. I should go to sleep"   
"Good night Aaron"   
"Good night Alex"   
Alex fell asleep on the sofa that night dreaming of SUVs and ties. Hotch called him every night while he was away, catching him up on the case. He went back to work before the team got home, only by a day. He stepped into the office and looked at his teams desks, each of them empty. He fought down the sadness the crept up on him as he sat down. He tapped the pen on the pile of files on his desk, before getting to work.   
"Alex!" an excited female voice called from his left and he smiled turning to watch as Garcea bounded over. He was pulled into a hug she bounced as he stood up to wrap his arms around her properly.   
"Are you that excited to see me?" he asked pulling away.   
"Of course I am!" she said "You've been gone so long"   
"I've only been gone a month" he retorted  
"A very long month" she shot back, his desk phone was ringing and he was watching it resting his chin on his hands. He let it ring out and it started ringing immediately after.   
"Agent Riley's desk" he greeted holding the phone against his ear.   
"Did you let the phone ring out the first time?" a male voice came out the receiver and Alex grinned.   
"You have no proof" he retorted tapping his desk "Are you on your way back?"   
"Yes. Five minutes out roughly, everyone else is behind me" Hotch said and Alex hummed.  
"I'm assuming this is my warning call not to jump you in the bullpen?" he whispered lowly. The warm laugh that came back was enough of an answer.  
"I would like to see you in my office" Hotch said.  
"I think that can be arranged" he responded and the line went dead. Hotch was in the building not three minutes after, smiling as he walked past and up to him office. Alex counted to 20 before going up the stairs himself and slipping through the door. He stood around the other side of the desk and leaned down to kiss him.  
"New rule, no kissing at work" Hotch murmered against his lips, Alex went to pull away "After this"


	15. Chapter 15

Hotch had to reassure Alex multiple times over the following month that 'Yes, we are together. Yes. Boyfriends Alex" and everytime he did Alex would flash him the same lopsided grin. Alex waited that month before going on a case with them, still not allowed to carry his gun even though the tremor had died down a little. He had been so excited to finally leave the office that he had completely zoned out through the breifing meaning that he had no clue what was actually going on, he dropped into a chair on the jet and looked out the window.   
"Alex, got any thoughts on the case?" Morgan asked and he froze slightly.   
"He won't because he wasn't listening during the briefing" Hotch stated looking up from the file on the table in front of him. Alex glared at him but the quirk of a smile that he briefly caught was enough to stop him.   
"Yeah he's right" Alex grumbled.  
"Did it pain you to say that?" Hotch asked Alex flipped him off as they went into the details of the case again. Everything was going swell, probably too swell. They found their unsub within hours of being there and Alex was instructed to stay by a very stern look Aaron Hotchner. He did what he was told watching his boyfriend and team drive away through the window. To occupy himself he started tidying up the paperwork that had been left scattered around the conference room in their wake, a letter written by the unsub caught his eye and a piece of the puzzle clicked into place. He dived for his phone ignoring the pain that shot through him at the too fast movement.   
"Aaron come on pick up" he hissed pacing back and forth holding the cellphone to his hear "Pick up. Pick up"  
"Alex what's wrong?" Hotch's voice came over the speaker and he heard a car door close in the background.  
"Dont go in!" he shouted "It's a trap, the unsub isn't there. He's at the warehouse. The house is rigged" Alex could hear muffled shouting.   
"Are you sure?" Hotch asked and Alex assumed he got back into the car, his voice sounded more echoey.   
"100% In his letter to his mother he told her he wasn't going down without a fight. She knew what it was like when he exploded" Alex said and the man hummed to agree with him and informed him that they were going to the warehouse. Alex glanced at his phone after the call had ended and watched his shaking hands, he had never felt more useless in his life.   
The team burst through the door and the man was brandishing an AK47 they all had their guns trained on him and were trying to talk him down, his movements were erratic and he seemed to be spiralling. Something banged above them and all guns were pointed at the ceiling. A knife sliced through the air and impaled itself in the wall, sticking the unsubs jacket there. Three more followed in rapid succession sticking more of the jacket and part of his pants. Another thud this time accompanied by a gently hiss was heard.   
"Who's there?" Morgan yelled but there was the audable sound of a window snapping closed and a car engine outside. They heard the tyres squeek. The gun was taken and the man was arrested, they stopped by the police station to pick up Alex on their way to the jet. The man dropped into the backseat next to Emily and smiled.  
"So how'd it go?" he asked and Morgan launched into the story of assassins with throwing knifes. Alex listened intently nodding along with the story. He was smiling softly as Derek pointed out how the knives had landed. They had been on the jet for a few minutes, Alex had bumped their knees together when he had sat and and winked at the older man. Hotch looked up from his file.  
"I think you'll be wanting this back" he said digging in his pocket and handing him the collapsable throwing knife. Alex grinned and pocketed it. He wiggled his fingers and the other three were pressed into his hand.   
"No" Morgan started staring at him  
"Yes" Alex replied leaning back. "Curiousity killed the cat and all that. How did you know it was me?"  
"They knife went nowhere near anyone on the team like the thrower was worried it would catch someone. So clearly someone close to the team. The angle in which it was thrown means right handed but one was thrown with the left, so they are most likely ambidextrous." Hotch said" The accuracy that they were thrown with is of someone with an award or two in throwing knives. And the way you arrived hid and escaped without detection shows a military background. Most likely special forces however you banged about a bit, recent injury that keeps bothering you."  
"I am impressed" Alex said.   
"Also your initials are carved into the handle" Hotch pointed out and went back to reading his file.  
"It was you?" JJ asked like her brain had just caught up and he nodded laughing.  
"There's a fit test tomorrow" Hotch supplied flicking through the folder again. A chorus of groans filled the jet. The older man laughed slightly.   
The next day Alex bounced out the car slinging the bag over his shoulder walking next to Hotch. All of the team went through security, each of them getting patted down for anything they would deem as dangerous.   
"You might want to repat agent Riley. He's capable of concealing things" a voice said and Alex allowed them to pat him down once more his jaw tightening. He hated running into people he knew.   
"Was that really necessary?" he asked looking at the man leaning against the wall.  
"No. It was just fun. Plus I'm the one who's been stuck recertifying you today" Jules said waving a hand at him.   
"Recertifying?" Alex asked.  
"Yeah, didn't your boss say. He asked for you to be cleared to handle weapons again" and Alex spun to look at Hotch.  
"Suprise" the older man shrugged, Alex huffed a laugh and another FBI trainer entered the room.  
"OK so I've got you for your fit tests today, which will all be done at the same time, just for speed and simplicity" she said and they nodded.  
"And I have agent Riley for his. As by technicality he is still under special forces therefor gets the special forces fit test, which is my area of expertise" Jules was grinning and Alex's smile dropped.  
"Fuck" he whispered and a hand gently tapped his arm as a warning. Alex sighed again and waved to the team as he left with Jules. Said man rested in arm over his shoulders.  
"You are gonna hate it" he said laughing. By the time the rest of the team had managed to get outside, they could see Alex running around the track his face red.   
"Come on slow poke, two laps left!" Jules called standing on a bench with a megaphone.   
"Fuck you. I'm injured" Alex yelled back, passing them, he was soaked in sweat.   
"The more you curse the more laps I'll add. Also you're fine" Jules said off handedly and they heard the whine from Alex. They all briefly wondered how many extra laps he had already had to endure. Three laps later Jules had blown his whistle. Alex threw his hands up and slowed to a stop bending over resting his hands on his knees and breathing heavily.  
"I hate you" he gasped out.  
"No you don't. I got you the job you love" Jules said letting the man catch his breath.  
"I hate you" Alex repeated and Jules blew the whistle next to his face. Alex winced and went back to breathing. He loved this, he really did. He just hated that it was causing him a lot of pain to manage it.  
"Right climbing and abseiling time" Jules announced clapping his hands together and Alex was ready to cry. They were moving away again, talking as they did.   
"What do you mean I'm not getting strapped in?" they heard Alex exclaim "Thats illegal"  
"No it's not you need to trust yourself. Also I've seen you scale walls wearing nothing but jeans and a hoodie" Jules pointed out "50 seconds to get to the top or you're doing it again. Go" Alex scrambled up the wall digging his feet and fingertips into the shallow grooves, hoping that the pure fear and adrenaline that was coursing through his body would fuel him. His arms pulled him to the top and he flopped over the thin ledge breathing hard. When did this get so difficult?  
"47 seconds. I'm actually impressed, last time we did this it was 49" Jules called up and Alex let his hand flop over the edge sticking his fingers up at him. Alex hauled himself to his feet and wrapped the rope that was dangling on his other side around his arm holding the top in his hand. He let himself fall only to be adruptly stopped and slowly lowered himself to the solid ground below, knowing fine well he was going to have at least bruises tomorrow. Maybe a slight burn but he didn't mind.   
"What's next?" he asked releasing the rope his chest hurt but he had to keep going if he stopped for too long he wasn't starting again.   
"Small firearms" Jules grinned "Then close combat and finally long range firearms"   
The team didn't see the two of them until Jules joined them to check on them with a target attached to his head on a pole. Even Hotch quirked a smile in disbelief.   
"What on earth?" Garcea asked pointing to it.   
"Sniper test. Normally used for moving targets but I think it'll work for this" he said and stood directly in the middle of the group "Right Alex whenever you're ready. Shoot the target" he pointed at it as if to emphasise what the target actually was. Everyone in the group looked mildly horrified and went to move away.  
"No stay. I have a theory and I want to test it" Jules said and they all stood bolt upright bar Spencer who was on the floor breathing hard. The gunshot echoed through the air and the target was snapped in half. They looked around for the source and spotted Alex crouched on a thin mental pole staring down the sniper rifle. He uncurled himself slowly and stood up to his full height dropping the gun to his side and smiling with his head tilted.   
"Bullseye" he called down and swung the gun around his chest so it rested against his back, he touched the strap and crouched down again.   
"I though I told you 40 yards" Jules called  
"You did, I'm 20 yards away and 25 yards up" Alex called "Therfore over 40 yards. It's not the distance you can shoot, it's being able to shoot without being seen. You taught me that" he hopped across to the other metal bar then the next and slid down the pole. He passed the gun to Jules, who dropped it on the bench.   
"Well I can officially say you are certified to carry firearms again and that I was right. If your friends are involved your brain is gonna stop that shake to make sure nothing happens to them" Jules stated "And I'm sure now that it's all over I can say that you didn't have to do all that to get there"   
"You what sorry?" Alex asked tilting his head and raising an eyebrow.   
"After the laps, it would've been fine to just go to the gun range but I thought you might enjoy the reminiscing of old times" Jules said and Alex launched himself forward knocking the man down onto his back, it was playing all grappling and neither were hurt when Alex rolled onto the grass looking at the sky. "Now I think everyone should hit the showers, you lot stink" Alex glanced down at himself. The shirt that he was wearing was stuck to his skin and he could smell the sweat. He lifting his arm up and Morgan grabbed his hand pulling him onto his feet. They began their walk into the building Hotch leading the way. He wasn't to keen on having Jules behind him.   
"I should've made you do the landmine run again" Jules laughed as they caught up to him Alex shook his head. Hotch narrowed his eyes.   
"That was so unethical. Those were live mines" he retorted and smiled. It was true he did have Jules to thank for his job, he had been the one to tell Alex that the BAU was looking for someone and put a good word in for him as well as Alex's history and entire folder dedicated to his army days.   
"Hey, uh just out of you know interest. Do you maybe wanna go out for a drink or something? With me?" Jules looked nervous and Alex's mouth dropped open and he glanced at his boyfriend from the corner of his eye. His boyfriend who was doing a very good job of keeping a neutral expression.   
"Are you asking me on a date?" he asked just to clarify and could hear the encouragement from the girls and Morgan behind them. All of the team had said they wanted him to get back into the dating world but all he could say was that he wasn't interested. He couldn't exactly tell them he was dating the boss.   
"Yeah" Jules said and Alex's step faltered. They had been friends for years. Something like this could ruin a friendship.   
"Jules. I'm seeing someone" he said and the man stopped walking.  
"You are what?" he asked wide eyes.  
"Seeing someone" Alex answered and he could even hear gasps from behind him. He tried to encourage the walking again.   
"Since when? Male or female? Older or younger? What's their job? What's their name? Do they know about your history? Oh my god. Are you going to let them meet your mom? " Jules said and Alex blinked at the onslaught of questions  
"I think about a month now. Male. Older. Office worker. I'm not telling you his name. Yes he does and yes he already has" Alex stated pulling his bag out the locker.  
"Is he at least good in bed?" Jules pryed and Alex momentarily forgot he was with his team and the man they were talking about.   
"Good god yes" he said, Hotch's mouth twitched into a smirk.   
"Oh my god. Did you put out on the first date?" Jules faked a gasp his hands on his chest.   
"Before actually if you really had to know" Alex said and yanked his shirt over his head. He could see the team pointedly listening to the conversation. "I'll text you more later" he sighed giving into the look he was getting, for a grown ass man Jules had mastered the puppy dog eyes. He pulled out his phone and typed the message quickly when no one was looking. Telling him exactly who he was with with strict instructions to keep quiet about it.   
"You dirty dog" Jules stated and left the room laughing.  
"So what's his name?" Morgan asked and Alex thunked his head against the wall.  
"Harry Adamson" he lied and even Hotchs eyebrows shot into his hairline. The team seemed to drop it for now and headed to the shower cubicals Alex taking the furthest away one and Hotch taking the one next to him. The rest of the team took ones further down and Alex sighed under the spray. He could hear part of a conversation but didn't feel the need to join. One thing he could thank the FBI for was their knowledge of water pressure. The shower curtain opened slightly and he spun ready to fight, but his back was pressed against the slick wall by a very familiar figure and lips were on his. Fingers dug into his hips and Alex's eyes slid shut his own fingers found themselves in Hotch's hair tugging lightly. The older man's mouth was hot against his and it was over too quickly for his liking with his boss disappearing back into his own cubical. Alex blinked at the now empty space in front of him, he was supposed to be the one who initiated risky behaviour. Turning off the water and towelling himself dry, he rooted around in his bag pulling out clothes at he did. He was the first dressed and to the car sitting in the drivers seat waiting for them. Morgan voiced him displeasure in the situation but Hotch just slid into the passenger side and smiled.   
"My driving isn't that bad" he pointed out putting the car in gear.   
"You drive like a Nascar racer" Morgan stated.  
"If it makes you feel better I used to race cars" Alex said with a happy hum. He wanted to hold the older agents hand while they drove but kept both hands firmly on the steering wheel.   
Alex bounced into Hotch's office later that day an empty case file in his hands. As far as anyone on the floor knew, it was a vital piece of evidence.   
"What's the file for?" was all the older man could get out before Alex was around the desk and had pressed their mouths together the older man's tie wrapped tightly around his fist.   
"There is no Harry" he mumbled pulling back slightly licking his lips.   
"I know, I did like how you just flipped my initials. Very clever" Hotch answered then it was a flurry of movement, Alex's hands on Hotch's shirt and Hotch's on his face pulling him closer. Alex moaned lightly and the older man pulled away. His fingers tracing the younger man's jaw and lips.   
"We are at work" Hotch breathed and Alex leaned forward trailing his lips down his throat humming in agreement. "Alex. We've got to stop" Alex pulled away slowly and Hotch went to grab him and pull him back but stopped himself.   
"One more?" he asked and their mouths were together again.


	16. Chapter 16

Of course there was only one bloody room left. The clerk at the front had told them it was usually reserved for a 'special set of clientele' but reassured everything was replaced after their stay. Hotch took the key, it was their only option short of sleeping in the SUV which definity didn't have enough room for all of them. They followed dutifully behind their unit cheif and all bundled into the room, 3 double beds where spread throughout the room one in each back corner and one in the middle. Alex didn't want to think about what these walls had seen and dropped onto the one in the far left. Hotch dropped his bag next to the younger agents and sat on the bed next to his legs.  
"We are all adults we can share a room for a couple days" Hotch stated, the girls took the other corner bed which left Morgan and Reid in the middle one.  
"Oh yeah this is particularly nice compared to army barracks" Alex mumbled against the arm that was folded under his head. He caught the curious looks and a grin spread across his face "What happens in the barracks stays in the barracks"  
"I don't even want to know" Reid shivered and Alex's grin only got wider. It was the hand resting on his arm that stopped him from scarring their genius for life. Alex was leaning against the headboard tapping away quite happily on his phone when Hotch dropped onto the bed next to him, he rested his phone on his chest. The man looked tired.  
"All good?" Alex asked softly, Hotch nodded in response.  
"Right lights out" The older man declared. And all light were flicked off with minimum complaints. Hotch settled under the covers and Alex followed suit, slowly shifting back so their bodies were pressed together. Hotch wrapped his arm around Alex's waist and buried his face into the back of his neck for a few minutes before releasing him and turning away, pressing their backs together. Alex awoke to giggling, even with his eyes open it was dark and his face was against something warm and solid, his arm was wrapped around said warm and solid object and his legs were entwined with there's. Alex pulled his head away and realised that at some point during the night he and Hotch had wrapped around each other. Alex tried to pull himself off the man but the arm around him just tightened and Hotch snuggled in more mumbling under his breath. The laughter of the team picked up and Alex huffed his own laugh.  
"Wakey Wakey sleeping beauty" he said poking the older man's face a couple times for good measure. The older man's eyes snapped open at the sound of laughter and he detangled himself scowling at the team as they averted their eyes.  
"Sorry" he said to Alex but the younger agent was too preoccupied laughing to pay him any mind. Hotch sighed and got dressed in the bathroom mentally kicking himself. Alex had disappeared by the time he had composed himself, the team was still giggling. "If I hear one thing not about the case come out of any of you I swear" They seemed to sobre up at the threat but deep down Hotch knew it wouldn't last long. Alex was waiting for them in the drivers seat of the SUV aggressively texting someone as they walked towards him, Hotch briefly realised the sweatshirt that the younger agent was wearing was one of his that had disappeared weeks ago. Hotch's phone buzzed in his pocket and he looked at the text message from Alex.  
'I promise that no matter what happens with the conversation that we are no doubt about to have. I do actually like you'  
Hotch dropped into the passenger seat and he could see Alex fighting off the grin that was trying to make its presence known.  
"I never pegged you as a snuggler" Morgan cackled from behind them.  
"I'm not. Normally" he sighed and Alex shot him a subtle look that just screamed 'Liar'  
"It was nice to have a cuddle buddie. Good for your mental health too" Alex said starting the car and beginning their drive. "Leave him alone. Everyone needs to snuggle occasionally as I said good for your mental health. I am hereby offering to be everyone's snuggle buddie and that offer will also be extended to Garcea when we return"   
"Can we concentrate on the case at hand please?" Hotch asked resting his head in his hand.   
"Sure thing, snuggles" Morgan sniggered and Alex was joining in the laughter. Hotch sighed again. The case was going well until they were going in for the arrest and bullets were flying all over the place, they were all hiding behind anything that would act as a cover as they tried to close in Hotch stood to shoot, Alex's eyes widened when Hotch dropped back onto the cold concrete blood leaking steadily from a gun shot wound in his shoulder. He sprinted across to him through the hail sliding to his knees, pressing his hands to the wound.   
"I've got you" Alex said his voice wavering. His boyfriend shouldn't be that pale. There was too much blood. He pressed harder.   
"Alex" Hotch murmered his eyes closing, there was movement all around them and Alex was shouting his boyfriends name begging for him to open his eyes. He wasn't quite sure when the paramedics had arrived or how he ended up sitting on the cold floor watching as his boyfriend was loaded into the back of an ambulance, his brain was blank only supplying that he had to get to Aaron. He was still in a daze while he was sat on the back of a police cruizer someone wiping the blood from his hands. Aaron's blood. He blinked at it most of it a dryed staining his hands red somehow it had reached his shirt, he knew it was going in the trash as soon as they got home. The noise came back first and he shook his head out, their unsub had been shot in the crossfire. Alex was the first one to the SUV the team climbing in behind him no one argued about his driving no one spoke. A tear escaped Alex's eye rolling down his face soaking into the vest, more followed as he drove occasionally glancing down at blooded hands. It took three hours before they could see Hotch, this was after Alex had threatened every member of medical staff and had to be restrained by Morgan before he could punch the head doctor in the mouth for insinuating that Hotch was a coward. Alex had dropped into the chair next to him and refused to move even when doctors and nurses threatened forceful action. At some point he had closed his eyes and drifted off.   
"Alex" his name was being called gently, fingers running through his hair. He lifted his head blinking at the sudden light. Hotch was smiling down at him, one of those ones that warmed his inside and out, he sat up.   
"How are you feeling?" he asked. The team were somewhere close by he knew that much. He just didn't know where.   
"I'm OK, Morgan said you freaked out in the waiting room" the man supplied with a smile. "Alex I'm OK, it was a little nick ill be perfect in a couple of days. I'm OK" it was as if the man had read his mind. Alex stood quickly and leaned forward pressing their mouths together putting all of his weight on his right hand on the bed while his left cupped the man's jaw, Hotch's own hand was on top of his as their mouths moved. He had never gotten round to washing the blood from his hands.   
"Don't ever do that again" he breathed pressing their foreheads together, Hotch hummed kissing him again, Alex breathed the air between them.   
"Oh my god" A voice came from behind Alex and the man froze turning his head to look at the team. Alex's lips tingled slightly and he stood up fully and took a deep breath.   
"It's not what it looks like?" he tried and even Hotch snorted Alex raised an eyebrow at him.   
"We've been together for three months" Hotch supplied and Alex sat back down after scrubbing the blood from his skin more viciously than was necessary ready to field the barrage of questions.   
"What about Harry Adamson?" Morgan asked and Alex laughed.   
"Doesn't exist. Harry Adamson is Aaron Hotchner" he retorted. The conversation continued and Hotch reached for his boyfriends hand, Alex let their fingers lace and palms press together. They were all ok

Alex was playfully shoving Hotch as they left the lift, the team watched as they mock argued about something, most likely what they were having for lunch, before both of their faces shifted into their 'work personas'. Alex dropped into his chair and spun towards his desk, Hotch went up to his office to start his paperwork with one last glance at the younger man. Alex launched a paper ball at Reid's head then spun away as his head shot up to find the culprit. Alex spun back around looked up and furrowed his brow.   
"Everything OK, Spence?" he asked fighting off the smirk. Reid threw the paper ball back over at him and Alex caught it easily throwing it into the trash can. The doors to the bullpen swung open dramatically reveling Deputy Director Friells, Alex had met the woman once maybe twice in the 10 months he had worked at the BAU and he didn't think she liked him very much. Through no fault of his own, or at least he didn't think it was his fault, Hotch had noticed the lack of noise and left his office standing against the railing both hands on the top bar.   
"People in the unit have been breaking the fraternization policy" she announced loudly clasping her hands behind her back, Alex looked up towards Hotch fear sinking both of their hearts. "We do know who these two people are, I am giving them this one opportunity to come clean and tell me themselves."   
"And how pray tell Deputy Director, did you find out that these two people were together?" Alex snapped at her knowing fine well it was a bad idea.   
"By going through their cell phone activity as well as some light surveillance. When agents sign their contracts with us they sign a waver allowing us to do so if we feel like they are breaking any rules or protocol Agent Riley" she said and then smiled at him with no happiness what so ever "And I'm sure you can imagine the surprise when we went through yours and then each of your colleagues" Alex leaned back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest.   
"Well I never signed a thing when I started here, no contract nor wavers " he snapped at her "Which makes my personal private business. Mine. And gives you no legal right to look into it"   
"I'm sure that's what you think but you are wrong. Agent Hotchner, your office" she marched up the stairs towards his boyfriend a smile plastered on her face and Alex's eyes widened. This was on him and he was going to be the one to fix it. He pushed away from his desk ignoring the calls of his team behind him and entered the lift angry stabbing the button. Heading up, he was vibrating with fury, anger could have been flying off the metal walls. He stormed through the corridors ignoring everyone who tried to speak to him, bursting into the office at the end of the hall growling.   
"We need to talk" he snapped, the Director of the FBI looked up from his desk. Alex's eyes were narrowed and furious.   
"Agent Riley" he greeted cooly "What seems to be the issue?"   
"You know damn well. You went through my private messages. My private business. Which have nothing to do with the BAU or the FBI. You have no reason to question my loyalty to the FBI." he all but shouted.   
"Except for the fact that you were fraternizing within the organisation on top of that your unit on top of that with your unit chief. Which is breaking the first policy in the rule book" the Director said going back to the paper work on the desk not looking at him "Deputy director Friells is the one dealing with this breach of policy, she's the one in charge and she already knows what the outcome is. One or both of you is getting fired from the FBI or transfered out of the BAU into another unit" Alex felt anger bubble up and something dangerous flaired in front of his eyes, even the Director looked worried. He had reason to.   
"No. That's not how this is going to pan out" he snapped "You had no right to go through my or his personal messages, no fucking right I don't care what he signed and I can garuntee I didn't sign anything, you know fine well I didn't. This is supposed to be a federal agency who fucking cares who's sleeping together or who's dating who or what unit they are in, we all know what we are getting into. Have you ever thought that maybe people in your agency feel more comfortable dating within the agency within our units because we've all seen similar things been through similar events. We feel safe. But if someone needs to go it won't be Aaron, so here" he slammed his badge and gun down onto the desk with a snarl, the noise resounding around the room.   
"Agent Riley" the Director started but was cut off.   
"If you ever even think about forcing him out the FBI or away from that team. If anything at all happens to Aaron Hotchner there will be hell to pay. And you know fine well what I am capable of" Alex spun on his heel and slammed out of room it took till he got to his desk for reality of what he had just done to catch up, his body was heavy and didn't quite feel like his own. He glanced up towards Hotch's office but he could still see Friells through the blinds clearly giving him an earful, Hotch was giving her the same passive glare that he gave anyone who annoyed him. Alex glanced around for a box to clear his desk there was none in the bullpen, they were all in the offices and most likely full of paperwork. He settled for shoving things into his go bag keeping his eyes down when the team looked at him only lifting it slowly when he heard Hotch's door open. Alex dropped the last stress ball into his bag the Deputy Director had a triumphant smirk on her face and a slight pep in her step and Hotch just looked devastated. Clearly he had been given the same news. Alex offered him a reassuring smile, the older man tried to return it but couldn't.   
"You will know who's leaving by the end of the day" she announced to the bullpen, he had a feeling that she already knew who it was but wanted to keep them on edge and cause the most pain. Alex leaned against the desk.   
"No need. Aaron Hotchner isn't leaving the BAU" he stated curling his fingers around the wood.   
"You don't have a choice in this decision Agent Riley" she spat at him. A sad smile rose on his face.   
"That's Mr Riley to you Deputy Director. I've already resigned from my post" he said and all eyes snapped onto him "Went straight to the Director, he's in possession of my gun and badge. I'll be out of this bullpen within the hour" her eyes wracked over him, finally noticing that he never had a gun or holster on him. His team took him in fully, the outline of his badge that was usually in his back pocket was gone and so was the one he kept hooked on his belt loops, his shoulders were tight showing stress anxiety and his knuckles were white with the force he was holding on. Hotch was moving down the steps towards him sadness in his eyes.  
"Alex. No" he said reaching out for him. Alex took his hand and laced their fingers together tightly. Alex smiled at him again.   
"You do so much for me. For this team, you Aaron are a good man who's made for this job and I wouldn't let them take it away from you"   
"No one is leaving" The director stormed into the FBI "I did not fight that had to get you to even think about the FBI as a potential job opportunity for you to quit over a man Alexander Riley. You made a good point about safety and I'm removing the fraternization policy effective immediately. I'm not loosing any of my best agents over a policy that is out of date, neither of you are going anywhere" The Director dropped the badge and gun that had been in his hands onto the desk and Alex was smirking.  
"Sir-" Friells started.  
"You and I are going to have a chat, I looked through your messages and emails. You have been breaking numerous policies of your own" he said to her then spun back to Alex pointing "If you ever ever pull a stunt like that again. I swear to god you'll regret it"  
"Yes, sir" Alex responded not letting his boyfriends hand go. The Director huffed and stormed out the bullpen quickly followed by a scowling Friells, Alex smirked at her and wiggled his fingers on his free hand "That went so much better than I thought it would"  
"Don't ever do that again" Hotch breathed. Alex leaned forward pressing their lips together chastly.  
"I won't" he promised.


End file.
